My 2012 Prayer...

Life: It's not about all the things you do or don't do or the books you've read the accomplishments you've made. It's about your character, and what kind of person you choose to be in a world of "me, me, me" & "every man for himself". It's who you are when no one is looking, how you treat those who have done you wrong or mean nothing to you. It's recognizing who you really are, not who you want to be, and working hard to get closer to the ideal. It's a big ball of choices, confusion, happiness, & pain & every moment of it is a blessing! I don't make resolutions but I pray that I continue to LIVE in 2012, that God continues to use me, & that I grow twice as much as I did this year!

Amen.

Call Me Crazy, But...

"When you know better, you do better, & if you are not learning how to be better daily then move your feet."

Various people I have come into contact with (many older or on much different paths than I) are always curious about why I am not married or why I don't have any kids often the assumption made is that I have chosen my education & career over love & family... I refer them to my quote above.

The fact of the matter is that I don't believe that it has to be a "choice." Don't get me wrong if I were a different person with a different level of focus then I could have had several kids by now, believe me! I could have potentially been married as well. Maybe not to the right person but it could have been arranged.

However, my thoughts on the subject are that right now that is not what God has for me. I am focused on education and career because I believe I was called to do what I am doing and to help others. It does not mean that I have done that at the exclusion of romantic love, however.

As stated above I don't believe it is a choice, I don't see why I can not have a great job, a husband, & children if that is what is in the cards for me. People do it everyday. Some people meet the person they want to do that with earlier in life and others far later and others still some where in between. I think it's a far better use of my time to one focus on the things that I directly can make decisions about, change, alter, etc. and continue to grow as a person. If someone cool and like minded comes along then I would gladly welcome that adventure but if not at least I have a course and purpose that I only have to rely on God to fulfill.

I recognize it's not that "cut and dry" for others but I just lack the concern to see settling down and having kids as something that I have to do right this moment or before a certain age. The older I get the happier I am that I do not have kids now or that I am not in a relationship with previous people I have dated, still. We all can't make every mistake in life and I am taking my time to learn from my own and from others while I can in hopes that when I find that special someone they will in fact be everything that I deserve and I will be everything that they deserve, and also so that if I do become a Mom I can be the best possible Mom that I can be and give my child(ren) the best opportunities that I can possibly provide. I feel most of us get to caught up in our own plans for our lives and while we may be believers God is the farthest thing from our minds, or we believe we have some sort of control to make our desires or wants His plan instead of recognizing them as our own, or even still we make ourselves feel better by concocting a belief that God wanted us to go in the hardest, rockiest, roughest direction to teach us. I am not the most educated on the topic but if we have free will then I would guess that God is just prepared for whatever way we may use that free will but that does not mean the outcome or the trials we have to go through because of it are what he really wants for us, but just the consequence of our ability to choose.

So to anyone else that it just hasn't happened for, or are having to start again, although I recognize it is easier said than done, just relax. What is for you, is for you. I am much more excited to write the unique story that is my life than to write one that has been done or is expected of me.

Jeezy is Always On Point

The Helpers Bill Of Rights:

Being a "Helper" requires a constant check & balance system; of your need to do for others versus your need to take care of yourself.

It is constant because often times those in need, in crisis, in desperation, or a pattern, often have no concept of anything except their need at the time.

As a Helper it is imperative that you always remember the above in all efforts.

As a Helper it is also necessary to check if you are helping someone in need of your help, willing and able to accept your help, and meet that person(s) where they are.

In order for the Helper to remain able they must:

Take care of themselves first.

Learn when their desire to help has surpassed the helpees desire to change.

And learn to say no.

What may be the most important for a Helper is to remember to do what they can when they can and that as long as their intentions were to help the outcome does not directly relate to the job done and ultimately who they are as a helper.

Beware of leeches (no matter the accidental or purposeful kind) who view Helpers as a resource as sustenance instead of that which they are... help.

Do not expect thank you's or true understanding of sacrifices you have made, the only purpose for helping has to be just that, the ability to help.

For the Helper that is highly adaptable, be sure that in helping others:

You don't forget who you are, outside of what you do.

What you value.

Your own dreams, goals, direction.

It can not be said enough that being a Helper is truly about balance.

Help who you can when you can.

The outcomes do not define you.

Be careful who you go above and beyond for.

Lastly, remember that it is not selfish to take care of yourself, sometimes the most important person you can help is you.

**When I say taking care of yourself, that means personally obviously but also could/does include those you are directly linked with and/or responsible for.