The most difficult battles are those fought internally. One of the most uprooting of those battles is the challenge of deciphering what you want vs. what you need...
Rarely in life do we get "handed" the opportunity to get both in one. Usually, we have to have a devastatingly tiring back and forth between what we know is right and what we truly wish was right. Do you go with the reality of a situation; can you even see the reality of a situation vs the ideal? What we need can eventually turn into what we want and in that safe place in the back of the mind I know I often find myself drawn there. Need eventually shows that it's got your back. That everything in time is right where and as it should be and that it's got your back. Need is trustworthy and after you accept it you don't have to go back and decipher it, it's clear.
The not so safe option, however, happens to eat at my gut from time to time. My gut tells me it's not the right choice, I'm not disillusioned as to the consequences of choosing the want over the need. Often though, I fall into the in front of my face trappings of the want. Usually the need has to be found, worked on in some way, looked at just a certain way just to see its importance. Want jumps out at you, it says all the right things, lures you in... Want plays to the insecurities and the weak spots you hold and says hey don't worry about tomorrow this is awesome right now. In the grand scheme of things even if the want gets you in trouble, burns you, it's a learning experience, it usually is fun while it lasts, and if you go in understanding how it's going to play out the consequences don't have to be too damaging...
So what to do? How do you decide?
Heck if I know...
There's more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary-we can't round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit.
Friday, December 21, 2012
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
OUCH!
The idea of a check-in is something that is used often in the counseling and training world. Whether you use some sort of signal or color coded formula or a word, it is a great way to make sure that everyone is still engaged and processing as you go along.
As I look at my various social media pages and listen to the news today my check-in word is definitely OUCH! For lack of a softer term, shit is heavy out there right now. I expected nothing less after this election to be honest. I think it shows how important this country is to EVERYONE! If Obama lost there would have been a great deal of people bitter, angry, upset, and fearful for the country as well.
I have never been one that is HUGE on politics. There are a great deal of matters that take place behind the scenes and so much circular talk and red tape that it becomes confusing. I have yet to meet anyone who has one political view or another that thinks they are wrong or that their vision could possibly be skewed. I do however live in The United States of America. I am not a felon, of age, pay my taxes, and as I understand it that gives me the right to vote. It gives me and millions of others the right to vote not the right to qualify or devalue anothers right to vote.
The biggest OUCH! that I have experienced during this election is the idea that because I am black is the only reason why I voted for Obama. Please, don't get me wrong I am well aware and know many black people who did in fact only vote for Obama for that reason. My issue is that, it is their right to do so. No one said that anyone has to make a truly informed decision or that you must follow certain guidelines to vote. It's your right to choose who you want to vote for. I am offended however that it is the first assumption by many. Do I think it's really amazing and historically significant that a black man was voted president twice in this country? I absolutely do! That doesn't mean though that I would honestly put my future or my hopes for what I want my government to do for me to the side just to vote for someone based on their skin color. As stated previously I also recognize that I am not the most educated when it comes to politics so I am more than willing to listen to and hear out those who have opposing views to mine as well. I respect other peoples right to vote and to make their decisions however they choose. Where it becomes a problem is when instead of educating me on your point of view you spew hateful, ignorant, and bitter remarks to me.
I don't automatically assume that a conservative white person is only voting for Romney because he is white. As stated before, however, even if they are that is their right. It's just really hurtful to see the manner in which others denigrate the choices that others make. We all have different opinions, viewpoints, values, and issues that we find to be important. Whether you are the least or the most informed the varying values, and issues of importance to you can greatly skew and determine which candidate you felt was best for you. As my brother so eloquently pointed out at this point it is not about the finger pointing or the blame game anymore. What it is about is all the levels of government working together with the president to make changes that help this country move forward and recover. Disregarding someones view point or insinuating that they are less of an American because they voted differently than you is ridiculous it makes me sick to my stomach. We live in a country where we are supposedly the most privileged and richest and there are still children who starve or die from neglect. Yet, a great deal of us sit around and point fingers back and forth about how one is not doing enough here or focusing too much there. No one President will ever cause or solve all of our problems!
In the end the downfall of Americans will not be their lack of education (at least not directly) or their desire to elect a Democrat, Republican, or other. It will not be people voting because someone is or is not of a certain race, religion, or socioeconomic standing. The downfall will be that a country with a history as dirty and disgusting as the United States will get so full of itself, so forgetful of what they are capable of both good and bad, that it actually believes that anything can be accomplished that any real growth or change can happen without working together to do it. People are afraid of Socialism not afraid enough of the dangers of Capitalism, and act as though when the elected official is not one that they support that we live in a Dictatorship. It all comes down to our ability to put aside our individual opinions and work together.
I find this quote extremely relevant:
“Not in order to justify, but simply in order to explain my lack of consistency, I say: Look at my present life and then at my former life, and you will see that I do attempt to carry them out. It is true that I have not fulfilled one thousandth part of them [Christian precepts], and I am ashamed of this, but I have failed to fulfill them not because I did not wish to, but because I was unable to. Teach me how to escape from the net of temptations that surrounds me, help me and I will fulfill them; even without help I wish and hope to fulfill them.
Attack me, I do this myself, but attack me rather than the path I follow and which I point out to anyone who asks me where I think it lies. If I know the way home and am walking along it drunkenly, is it any less the right way because I am staggering from side to side! If it is not the right way, then show me another way; but if I stagger and lose the way, you must help me, you must keep me on the true path, just as I am ready to support you. Do not mislead me, do not be glad that I have got lost, do not shout out joyfully: “Look at him! He said he was going home, but there he is crawling into a bog!” No, do not gloat, but give me your help and support.”
― Leo Tolstoy
In this quote you can replace the Christian precepts with any task or agenda. Tolstoy said, instead of talking about the person in a negative manner or acting as though their supporters are "idiots" or some how less than you because they made a different choice than you did, how about you do what you can to support this person, help them. If you believe you know what is best, a better plan, what needs to be done then encourage those working in Government no matter their political affiliation to be of help and not waste time acting as though if the President fails it does not hurt everyone. What is done is done, but let's find a way to move forward.
As I look at my various social media pages and listen to the news today my check-in word is definitely OUCH! For lack of a softer term, shit is heavy out there right now. I expected nothing less after this election to be honest. I think it shows how important this country is to EVERYONE! If Obama lost there would have been a great deal of people bitter, angry, upset, and fearful for the country as well.
I have never been one that is HUGE on politics. There are a great deal of matters that take place behind the scenes and so much circular talk and red tape that it becomes confusing. I have yet to meet anyone who has one political view or another that thinks they are wrong or that their vision could possibly be skewed. I do however live in The United States of America. I am not a felon, of age, pay my taxes, and as I understand it that gives me the right to vote. It gives me and millions of others the right to vote not the right to qualify or devalue anothers right to vote.
The biggest OUCH! that I have experienced during this election is the idea that because I am black is the only reason why I voted for Obama. Please, don't get me wrong I am well aware and know many black people who did in fact only vote for Obama for that reason. My issue is that, it is their right to do so. No one said that anyone has to make a truly informed decision or that you must follow certain guidelines to vote. It's your right to choose who you want to vote for. I am offended however that it is the first assumption by many. Do I think it's really amazing and historically significant that a black man was voted president twice in this country? I absolutely do! That doesn't mean though that I would honestly put my future or my hopes for what I want my government to do for me to the side just to vote for someone based on their skin color. As stated previously I also recognize that I am not the most educated when it comes to politics so I am more than willing to listen to and hear out those who have opposing views to mine as well. I respect other peoples right to vote and to make their decisions however they choose. Where it becomes a problem is when instead of educating me on your point of view you spew hateful, ignorant, and bitter remarks to me.
I don't automatically assume that a conservative white person is only voting for Romney because he is white. As stated before, however, even if they are that is their right. It's just really hurtful to see the manner in which others denigrate the choices that others make. We all have different opinions, viewpoints, values, and issues that we find to be important. Whether you are the least or the most informed the varying values, and issues of importance to you can greatly skew and determine which candidate you felt was best for you. As my brother so eloquently pointed out at this point it is not about the finger pointing or the blame game anymore. What it is about is all the levels of government working together with the president to make changes that help this country move forward and recover. Disregarding someones view point or insinuating that they are less of an American because they voted differently than you is ridiculous it makes me sick to my stomach. We live in a country where we are supposedly the most privileged and richest and there are still children who starve or die from neglect. Yet, a great deal of us sit around and point fingers back and forth about how one is not doing enough here or focusing too much there. No one President will ever cause or solve all of our problems!
In the end the downfall of Americans will not be their lack of education (at least not directly) or their desire to elect a Democrat, Republican, or other. It will not be people voting because someone is or is not of a certain race, religion, or socioeconomic standing. The downfall will be that a country with a history as dirty and disgusting as the United States will get so full of itself, so forgetful of what they are capable of both good and bad, that it actually believes that anything can be accomplished that any real growth or change can happen without working together to do it. People are afraid of Socialism not afraid enough of the dangers of Capitalism, and act as though when the elected official is not one that they support that we live in a Dictatorship. It all comes down to our ability to put aside our individual opinions and work together.
I find this quote extremely relevant:
“Not in order to justify, but simply in order to explain my lack of consistency, I say: Look at my present life and then at my former life, and you will see that I do attempt to carry them out. It is true that I have not fulfilled one thousandth part of them [Christian precepts], and I am ashamed of this, but I have failed to fulfill them not because I did not wish to, but because I was unable to. Teach me how to escape from the net of temptations that surrounds me, help me and I will fulfill them; even without help I wish and hope to fulfill them.
Attack me, I do this myself, but attack me rather than the path I follow and which I point out to anyone who asks me where I think it lies. If I know the way home and am walking along it drunkenly, is it any less the right way because I am staggering from side to side! If it is not the right way, then show me another way; but if I stagger and lose the way, you must help me, you must keep me on the true path, just as I am ready to support you. Do not mislead me, do not be glad that I have got lost, do not shout out joyfully: “Look at him! He said he was going home, but there he is crawling into a bog!” No, do not gloat, but give me your help and support.”
― Leo Tolstoy
In this quote you can replace the Christian precepts with any task or agenda. Tolstoy said, instead of talking about the person in a negative manner or acting as though their supporters are "idiots" or some how less than you because they made a different choice than you did, how about you do what you can to support this person, help them. If you believe you know what is best, a better plan, what needs to be done then encourage those working in Government no matter their political affiliation to be of help and not waste time acting as though if the President fails it does not hurt everyone. What is done is done, but let's find a way to move forward.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Learning Lessons
Where has the year gone?????
I can't believe that it is almost 2013. The year most definitely started out not so great and slowly got more and more difficult. I am so happy to see that it looks like things are turning around now. *knock on wood*
I'm really happy that no matter what happens in life if you have the right outlook you can always find that silver lining or that lesson. I have had several situations happen either recently or that occurred this year where I am just now recognizing the relevance in my life and gaining clarity on questions that I have had. It's been on my mind so much so that I felt like I should share:
1) The age old saying is that when people show you who they are, believe them, as well as, don't make a priority out of someone that makes you an option.
I can't believe that it is almost 2013. The year most definitely started out not so great and slowly got more and more difficult. I am so happy to see that it looks like things are turning around now. *knock on wood*
I'm really happy that no matter what happens in life if you have the right outlook you can always find that silver lining or that lesson. I have had several situations happen either recently or that occurred this year where I am just now recognizing the relevance in my life and gaining clarity on questions that I have had. It's been on my mind so much so that I felt like I should share:
1) The age old saying is that when people show you who they are, believe them, as well as, don't make a priority out of someone that makes you an option.
- I had to learn this one the hard way this year. As for people showing me who they are. This is actually one of those things where I am so happy that I can now see the full scope of some peoples character that are or were in my life. Although one individual I can't exactly cut off or act like they don't exist but what I can do now is understand that it doesn't matter what I do or don't do they are still going to maintain their current mindset. That helps me to not feel bad saying no, or to make sure I guard myself and my feelings first and really ask myself if this person follows their normal way of being and I go along with it how is it going to make me feel after when I am treated in the same way as they usually do? That is really freeing. As for the other individual where this applies to greatly, I can't even put into words how freeing it is to know exactly who this person is now. It helped me to let go of a lot of things that I didn't even realize fully, I was holding on to. As for being made an option by some this thought came to me several months back. I thought about all the phone calls I was making, all the get togethers I was trying to plan and really stopped to see if I didn't pick up the phone or keep trying to contact people in multiple ways would we still interact as much. The result was a resounding "nope". At that point I just stepped back and let those who actively participate in my life be my priorities and forgot about those who were making me an option.
- I have learned this year that there are quite a few things that I wanted to do that I've wanted to do for quite some time or that I have given a lot of thought to. I kept disregarding what I wanted and saying that I had to wait for a better time, for finances to be better, for other situations to be fully resolved. I realized that although I am grateful for everything that I do have in my life and recognize the frailty of life I wasn't really living by reacting that way. By no means am I being irresponsible or trying to force something into a space where the timing just isn't right, but I am taking more chances and doing more of the things that I want to because there simply may not be a tomorrow to do it.
- We all know by now that the definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting a different result. Well I luckily wasn't involved in insane acts, lol, but I wasn't fully embracing some changes. I am one of those people who is more anxious and excited about change than one who dreads it. I like the idea of being in a new space and trying something different and figuring it out. One thing I have not been embracing about change is when you try something different or new at times it might not feel right but that doesn't mean that it is wrong. I have been trying to embrace change in that way so that hopefully I can accomplish somethings that I have not been able to in the past.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Excuse me as I step up on my soap box...
Disclaimer: The statements following this message obviously are my opinion, do not apply to any and all situations, and in no way shape or form are intended to give the impression that I don't make some ridiculous judgments, mistakes, etc. as well. Just my observations...
Over the last few months I have less and less patience for quite a few situations and I figured I would just get it all out of my system, so that I can see it in writing and maybe someone will agree with me and then I won't feel like the entire world has gone batsh*t and no one else seems to notice.
I am tired of "grown" individuals debating over who lies, cheats, or uses people the best. This is the most ridiculous argument if I have ever heard one. If there were such a thing as a relationship application no one would ever put that mess on it, in an effort to win someone over. You don't sound "cool" bragging about how awesome of a liar you are, or how you played two and three people at one time, or bragging about all the things that you have... that someone else paid for!
I am tired of people who are insecure with themselves and/or their decisions projecting that mess on to others. Don't get mad because some one respects you enough to keep it real with you and you are not in a place to receive it. Just keep walking around in your ignorant bliss, lie, and say you'll take what they are saying under advisement.
I am tired of (mostly) females fighting over or about guys with one another. Unless she is your family or friend, don't waste your time or energy on her. Take it to the person who is supposed to be committed to you.
I am tired of people not doing what they are supposed to be doing, and when they get caught up in it, instead of saying "you know what, that's my bad" it's all about what every body else is doing or how the person that caught them is wrong. That's like falling into a hole you dug and instead of trying to climb out, you just keep on digging. Makes no sense!
I am tired of people saying that they are trying to be more Christ like, working on their relationship with God, and then acting like judge, jury, and executioner towards others. I'm pretty sure it's a backhanded prayer when you judge someone or put someone down and follow it up with a but I'm going to pray for them. If you are going to pray for someone, just do it, don't kick them in the process. While you're at it, you may want to ask someone to pray for you too!
I am tired of people passing the buck. If you worship reality shows for their drama and their non-reality, put stars up on pedestals in general, let the television raise your kids, and etc. Then why are you outraged when you find out that just like any other human being they: make huge mistakes, some of them are dumb, irresponsible, immature, and misguided? The only difference is that no one is putting you up on a pedestal in the first place, your skeletons and mistakes are not available for public viewing, and you probably don't have the amount of money they have. I'm pretty sure we can all think of quite a few mistakes we would hate to be broadcast in every magazine or news program on tv and the internet just because we are in a line of work that is categorized as entertainment. The name says it all, be entertained, but look for your "idols" elsewhere.
Steps off soap box...
Over the last few months I have less and less patience for quite a few situations and I figured I would just get it all out of my system, so that I can see it in writing and maybe someone will agree with me and then I won't feel like the entire world has gone batsh*t and no one else seems to notice.
I am tired of "grown" individuals debating over who lies, cheats, or uses people the best. This is the most ridiculous argument if I have ever heard one. If there were such a thing as a relationship application no one would ever put that mess on it, in an effort to win someone over. You don't sound "cool" bragging about how awesome of a liar you are, or how you played two and three people at one time, or bragging about all the things that you have... that someone else paid for!
I am tired of people who are insecure with themselves and/or their decisions projecting that mess on to others. Don't get mad because some one respects you enough to keep it real with you and you are not in a place to receive it. Just keep walking around in your ignorant bliss, lie, and say you'll take what they are saying under advisement.
I am tired of (mostly) females fighting over or about guys with one another. Unless she is your family or friend, don't waste your time or energy on her. Take it to the person who is supposed to be committed to you.
I am tired of people not doing what they are supposed to be doing, and when they get caught up in it, instead of saying "you know what, that's my bad" it's all about what every body else is doing or how the person that caught them is wrong. That's like falling into a hole you dug and instead of trying to climb out, you just keep on digging. Makes no sense!
I am tired of people saying that they are trying to be more Christ like, working on their relationship with God, and then acting like judge, jury, and executioner towards others. I'm pretty sure it's a backhanded prayer when you judge someone or put someone down and follow it up with a but I'm going to pray for them. If you are going to pray for someone, just do it, don't kick them in the process. While you're at it, you may want to ask someone to pray for you too!
I am tired of people passing the buck. If you worship reality shows for their drama and their non-reality, put stars up on pedestals in general, let the television raise your kids, and etc. Then why are you outraged when you find out that just like any other human being they: make huge mistakes, some of them are dumb, irresponsible, immature, and misguided? The only difference is that no one is putting you up on a pedestal in the first place, your skeletons and mistakes are not available for public viewing, and you probably don't have the amount of money they have. I'm pretty sure we can all think of quite a few mistakes we would hate to be broadcast in every magazine or news program on tv and the internet just because we are in a line of work that is categorized as entertainment. The name says it all, be entertained, but look for your "idols" elsewhere.
Steps off soap box...
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Mortal
Remind me...
Remind me often Lord
That I am mortal.
When I rush to fix it
When I run to get it all done
When I have tunnel vision
Remind me...
Remind me often Lord
That I am mortal.
When I forget the point
When I am not focused on your purpose
When I overlook this moment
Remind me...
Remind me often Lord
That I am mortal.
There may never be a tomorrow
There may never be a second chance
I may not be able to realize my goals
to reach my dreams
Remind me...
Remind me often Lord
That I am mortal.
I can not always see the big picture
I forget which direction I was headed
I think there will be plenty of time
I feel that this is just the beginning
Remind me...
Remind me often Lord
That I am mortal.
When I am unhappy
When I continue to put everything else before
When I act as though it's not important now
Remind me...
Remind me often Lord
That I am mortal.
Friday, January 13, 2012
Beautiful Words
I cry tears
to you Lord
tears
because I cannot speak.
Words are lost
among my fears
pain
sorrows
losses
hurts
but tears
You understand
my wordless prayer
You hear.
Lord
wipe away my tears
all tears
not in distant day
but now
here.
- Joseph Bayly