Expression of Feeling Through Thought and/or Action

For those who have read my blog on my top ten list of books that I want to read but just can't find the time to, one of the books on their is The Five Love Languages. Well today I was in the mall with my lovely residents. They were looking around and enjoying their recreational outing. I was just killing time until it was time to meet back with them out front. Well I wandered into Barnes & Noble and was just looking around to see if anything sparked my fancy. Of course, I stopped in Old Navy first, before I wandered in but that's neither here nor there. Anyway, I saw The Five Love Languages for Singles. So I picked it up and started to read through it. Well in an hour this is what I got from it.

Apparently there are five love languages and whether you know it or not we all communicate for the most part in one more so than the others. The five languages are physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gift giving, and ummm something about services. (So, I guess you can tell which one isn't my style, lol!) Now the thing that the book expressed, and when you see what the languages are it can be inferred, is that these do not just apply to romantic love. These apply to how you express and/or give love to anyone. I think because I am a mental health professional, and I'm working on becoming an LPC that I can kind of navigate through these at times to suit the needs of whoever I'm working with. All in all though I like everyone else fit into one of these categories more so than the others when it comes to how I prefer to give, and receive love.

Physical touch is pretty simple it means that you give/receive love by touch whether it's through kissing, or just touching someones shoulder or patting them on the back. Words of affirmation means that you give/receive love by telling others or when others tell you that they love you, appreciate you, and other words that affirm that love. Quality time means as it says that you give or receive love through spending quality time with those you love. Whether it's a romantic trip with your significant other or just one on one time with your best friend. Gift giving means that you give/receive love by giving or getting gifts. Now it states that gift giving does not mean that you are giving or getting a gift for something that you did right or wrong. It is someone giving a gift for special occasions or just because but not in payment of or to make up for something. The last one rendering service, does not mean that you are slaving for someone but that you give/receive love by doing chores so someone else does not have to do it, or volunteering to do a task that you know will be helpful to others things like that.

So, while I was reading I was trying to figure out what my language was. It also stated in the book that although someone may have grown up in a house where lets say they were taught to give love in a certain way, that does not mean that they receive love in that same way. I think that most days I receive love by spending quality time and physical touch rated very high near quality time. (Oh yeah, there is a questionnaire in the back of the book so that if you are not sure what your language is you can find it out). Well anyway, when I think back on my life it seems very accurate. Words of affirmation was right behind physical touch and gift giving/services was barely ranking at all. I definitely can see where I have related in all of my relationships whether it was with friends family who ever that I felt more loved when people are willing to give me their time. I put a high value on a persons time. When I think back to the one time that I was "in love" in my life and the times when I was most happy with someone it was because I felt good due to the fact that-that person was giving me their time. Sure I like to be told that I look pretty and I like to be kissed and hugged and I appreciate a helping hand or a gift whenever I get it, but all in all you can't top spending that qt in my eyes.

Which leads me to recent events. Soooooo there is this guy. He's very nice to me, he's attractive, he's smart, he has a good job, a great head on his shoulders, and most of all he thinks I'm AWESOME!!!! You can't beat that right? Wrong!!!! I think we are communicating in two different languages. I think both of us probably rank high with the physical touch. We like to hug each other and touch each other while were talking, you know he might touch my hair, I'll probably put my hand on his arm or rest my head on his chest things like that. Overall though, I rank that quality time the highest. I feel like he ranks the words of affirmation the highest. He wants me to tell him how I feel, that I miss him, that I like him, how my day went, what's going on with me, etc., etc., etc. Which is fine with me, as I said it did rank pretty close to the other two when I took the questionnaire. Overall though, whenever he cancels on me or changes plans when he's too tired to see me or doesn't seem like he is bothered either way, all of those things in my head equate to non-interest. Even though he's saying he misses me and he cares about me and all of that good stuff we are not communicating the same way. And vice-versa. I'm good at saying what I mean and meaning what I say, to a certain extent. But I have quite a few short comings at times when it comes to telling a guy I miss him or I like him or whatever. I don't know why, probably just the whole issue of trust or something. Anyway, so I'm guessing it may be a good idea for the both of us, if we would like to continue to see how things play out to start expressing ourselves in a way that each of us is going to hear as "Oh, this person cares about me." Otherwise, I'm guessing that things will be headed in a: we're only friends/we aren't anything to each other, direction.

On Repeat In My Car This Week

Comments Pt. 3

Well it's that time yet again. More comments from the world of Myspace and Blackplanet for your enjoyment... Oh, and I feel I need to say, I'm not saying all these guys have no game or weak game or sound ignorant. Now we can all decipher which ones do. The point, however, is more so to show that you can present yourself in a positive way or a not so positive way. Just choose your words wisely...

Blackplanet

UptownVa writes:

you have a very pretty smile iam loving it

I'm_Getting_It writes:

whats up sexy, im jarrell and you seem like a professional nice young lady hit me back if your interested.

Faithful2u3 writes:

Good afternoon how are you doing today?

Smooth_Ni99a212 writes:

Hey wus up? Do you have aim or yahoo messenger so we don't have to send notes back and forth?

ferret43 writes:

Hello how are you doing? I just want to show you love from Alexandria, Va. Do you have aol, yahoo, or msn if so what is your screename?

NFLFootball9 writes:

I am 5'8 dark-skinned 155 look similar to omar epps. I am single and fine. I stay in Richmond Va. I like going to the movies and bowling. I am nice,cool,sense of humor,good listener,gives good foot massages and back massages. I love to chill and cuddle. I also like playing basketball and football and weightlifting. holla so we can chill and meet up. holla

A_GOOD_BLK_MAN313 writes:

Hello how are you

Knowledge9169 writes:

how are you doing tonight

Kinglala writes:

Whatsup kris what u got going on tonight?

REALMADE writes:

LIL MAMA U LOOK REAL FAMILIAR... ANYWAY WUT IT DO SWEETIE... THEY CALL ME SPOOK

REALMADE writes:

SO DATZ WUT IT IZ??? U COME ON MY PAGE AND DONT SPEAK THOUGH???? WE MIGHT JUS HAVE TA 6OX IT OUT......

rawfootage writes:

HEY HOW U DOING MS. KRIS

cookiecaterpillar writes:

How are you? I like your page. I am single and 27 years old. I recently moved from Atlanta, GA. Now, I live in Woodbridge, VA. Also, I work for the federal government as a business analyst at the Dept of Labor. Are you dating and/or involved seriously with anyone? I am interested in speaking with you and would like to get to know you better. I can send you some pictures of myself to you but I'll need an e-mail address of where to send them to you. Thanks. I hope to speak with you. Keep in touch. Take care and God Bless.

Sincerely,

Dwight (Teddy Bear)

knowledge9169 writes:

how you doing tonight

kinglala writes:

whatsup how u

ferret43 writes:

hello how are you doing

86onthefloor writes:

hello,dale city area''abit new,703 ***-5042''jay

Turning_Dem_Out writes:

looking real seyx ova there, wanted to show u some luv

asimadu writes:

hello, how are u doing sweet plz add me to **** so we could chat thr.....(easimadu@******.com)

kabluvme writes:

hello and welcome lovely lady how r u...Im Boone in DC area...just checking page out and looking good my lady...hit me up on **** if you have smoovthinka12@*****.com...lets chat...take care kb

J-Purdy writes:

how are you doing? you have any plans for the 4th?

Killaseason84 writes:

hey whats up beautiful
im just here lookin at your page
i hope i could get a chance to talk to u so i could get to know u a little
what you think?
i know its not much but to me its a note not a love lettler so im just keeping it real
hit me back beautiful
(Make sure you pay attention to one of the last notes, should look very familiar)

1realestmanevaknown writes:

How you doing Beautiful? I don't want the average chick, i want me a Genuine woman that's unlike these other birds flying out here. Don't you want a different Man? Someone genuine, sweet, REAL, honest, nice, got a nice personality. If so then let us to get know each other, be friends; even though i said friends i mean a good friend that wants to hang out like go see a movie or go out to eat and I like to be there 4 u. I stay in DC, I am a very affectionate and loving 26 year old that's 6' 10 185. So Send me a note and if you want you can Hit me up on **** messenger as Greenmonster069 let's chat and get know each other better.
ttyl,
Zeid

cgilliam writes:

love your beauty i s there any chance we could start an equally beautiful friendship

BASIC_TRAINING writes:

hi u doing sexy hit me up if u like what u see holla at your boy may be we can be friends have a bless day

benjamin_brns writes:

hello how are you lips are sexy and your classy dats wuz good very rare now days.

mike_gd writes:

hi

lil_mavs_man writes:

Hi My name is Brandon i just wanted to say hi and let you know that your message made me smile.
(I didn't write a message, but I'm not dumb enough to message him back saying that either)

MRGREY79 writes:

u look very sexxy with those glasses on

youngballer20 writes:

what up love, my name is bershun and i think are a beautiful woman. i want get know you. hit me back i would love hear from u

prophecylives writes:

Hi how are you? I'm Brandon..I'm 26 and was checkin out your page to see what was good....I like what I see and I'd like to talk with you sometime...I be doin my music thing too if you like rap..you can see that and more pics at
www.myspace.com/therealproph**

dman chaos writes:

whats how are u i am feeling your page and if u feeling mine hit me up

dblack71183 writes:

hey baby what'z good sexxi

Murf32 writes:

It's Nice to see a woman on here that has a goal and Trying to do more for herself,,,I think it's cool that u are going for your masters.

goat282 writes:

hello how are u doing

lucahbrash writes:

you so pritty

nelson123ernest writes:

Hello miss lady how are you doing today hope all is well with you and your family sending you some luv from UMCP and Upper Marlboro you seem like someone I would like to get to know better and possibly build a friendship with if your interested in a new male friend or buddy leave a message
ERNESTO
GOD BLESS
BE GOOD
BE SAFE
STAY BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT

MrGoodbody0869 writes:

Now, u are beautiful. Thats no lie about that. If I was with you I would drink all types of your wate. Bath water, dish water it wouldn't matter. But just showing some love.

oO_truth_Oo writes:

wazzup whit u. my name is rob i am 6'4'' 23 and have pics on my page. i saw u online and figured id hit u up. im not on here lookin for anything other than good conversation. if u are interested ill be lookin forward to hearin from u

loosecannon000 writes:

good evening ma'am,how's eveything with you,you working hjard today

benjamin_brns writes:

hey how you doing this evening

yatta4 writes:

hello how are you doing ms cute smile?

Daunbreakable1 writes:

What's going on?

ericchoco writes:

hi beautiful how you doing? what makes u happy. I would like to get to know you.

GSXRDave writes:

whast up how are you?

J_hood009 writes:

how r u doin miss lady?? , on tha real but jus bein honest wit you i saw ur page n all and i find u real cute n if its iight wit you i would like to gett to kno u betta...well hit me baq

cgilliam writes:

love your beauty any chance we oculd start an equally beautiful friendship
(looks very familiar)

shireyson writes:

hello sweety
how are you doing today?

truethugdog4rel writes:

what up

dabronx77 writes:

Hey Kris..How are you doing? Im Cary..nice to meet you!

saeviyan writes:

COME OVER FOR DRINKS AND DINNER BABY 202 560 **** ERIC

killaseason84 writes:

hey whats up beautiful
im just here lookin at your page
i hope i could get a chance to talk to u so i could get to know u a little
what you think?
i know its not much but to me its a note not a love lettler so im just keeping it real
hit me back beautifu

watkinsmg writes:

whats up for the evening?

jhood009 writes:

how r u doin miss lady?? , on tha real but jus bein honest wit you i saw ur page n all and i find u real cute n if its iight wit you i would like to gett to kno u betta...well hit me baq
(de ja vu)

allaboutdacat writes:

Hey Miss Lady i just want 2 show my respect n say that u r beautiful. u have very pretty face n a nice smile. im very interested n would like 2 get 2 know u better. Stay Sweet

mrpleazher writes:

You are a very beautiful sista and I love your lips and smile.

Soul_of_a_Phoenix writes:

Good morning. My name is Shaun. I'm originally from NY, but I live in Alexandria, Va. I just got back 2 weeks ago from 13 months in Iraq. Anyway, I don't have any pick up lines or nothing elaborate penned up. I just wanted to say I found you attractive and would love an opportunity to get to know you.
.. So, if you're interested get back to me

Mr_J_Coalz writes:

HELLO. HOW R U THIS MORNING? WHAT A LOVELY SMILE...

Rakin writes:

Good afternoon,

I hope you're doing well! I must say you're very attractive! But more than that, I'd like to get to know you. If you're up for getting to know a loving, loyal, intelligent, and very sexual guy, feel free to IM me at rakingme@yahoo.com.

Take care!

PIPEGAMEMEAN writes:

damn u are sexy

pagastygh writes:

I am a 24 year old Grad. student attending colorado tech. University. I'm working on my business administration at colorado technical university. I work as a lecturer of I,C.T, . I enjoy all kinds of music and love going to play soccer and watching them. I'm handsome laid back, and to be honest not like any guys you'll ever meet. i am good. i am now currently in Ghana.hope to here from you.

iceedoutem3 writes:

How you doin lady? I saw your pics and you are definitely beautiful but i want to get to kno more about you and see if we have anything else in common other than movies but if you have the chance get at me

cgilliam writes:

guess u rather ignore me i do have a pic if thats yoru concern i can send



MYSPACE

Money on My Mind writes:

wassup sexy what u up 2

Motown writes:


HEY GIRL. WHATS UP WITH U?

flip...side...in...da...studio writes:

send mi a friend request.....

Mothafucka im ill writes:

What's up wit u

Article in the Washington Post

Well I was reading the paper last Friday. The Washington Post had a story called Sudan Leader to Be Charged With Genocide. Apparently Luis Moreno-Ocampo of Argentina a chief prosecutor of teh Internationals Criminal Court planned to obtain an arrest warrant for Omar Hassan al-Bashir the current Sudanese President, charging him with genocide and crimes against humanity.

Members of the U.N. took action to send in extra supplies and are remaining vigilant in case the government cuts off supplies to the U.N. peacekeepers or forms attacks. The U.N. believes al-Bashir and the government to be responsible for attacks that took place earlier in the week although the U.N. ambassador for Sudan states that "rebels are responsible." SURE!!! The ambassador also stated that the government would not retaliate against peacekeepers but that this announcement may "destroy" the efforts being made to restore peace there. He goes on to say that the prosecutor is playing with fire and should not proceed because there will be grave repercussions. I'm not the smartest of people but how are you going to say that there will be no retaliation and then say that there will be grave repercussions? It's the same damn thing!!!

Anyway, apparently this Moreno-Ocampo guy is really up on doing what needs to be done. He has charged at least 11 people since 2004 in Congo, Sudan, Uganda and the Central African Republic for similar crimes, and has yet to be denied an arrest warrant from the pretrial chamber, according to the article in the post. It is well known that Bashir won't surrender to the ICC and he has not surrendered others in the past that have been investigated by Moreno-Ocampo. Some are worried that this may stall or keep peace agreements from being able to be worked out. But over 300,000 people are already dead and millions are displaced and this mother fucker hasn't done shit to show that he even wants to come to a peaceful agreement so I agree that drastic times call for drastic measures. Maybe if it's his own ass that they are trying to hang out to dry he'll be more open to peaceably settling things once and for all. Yes, things will get worse before they get better but if they stand firm this could be a very good thing.