The Push and Pull Effect

Every new chapter brings new connections and opportunities in your life. As you get older and more stable in who you are and who you want to be and what direction that you are going in, you learn to see red flags a little easier. Then the question becomes do you accept new people and opportunities into your life that do not fit into where it is that you are going?

The bigger question that also presents itself is what happens to the older chapters in your life if they are not going in the same direction as you? Sure in regards to family members you get what you get and you just have to deal but in regards to friends some of who may even be like family to you, what happens when you begin to diverge on two different tracks?

I refer to both of these situations as the push and pull effect. For every person or opportunity you pull towards you it is possible that you may have to push other people and opportunities further away. Such is life, if you are not growing then you are not living! Of course it's never that simple and sometimes you just have to come to the conclusion that some people and situations in your life have to be upgraded or downgraded into different roles. I don't think that any person who is in your life that is trying to be a part of your life should ever be kicked to the curb because you are on different levels or going in different directions but I do think that your expectations of each other have to be ammended and that it's okay to not pull as much as you used to, or allow yourself to be pulled as much as you may have at one time!

As for those new chapters I think going in caution is always the best approach when you are not sure. If you pull to much too soon you may find yourself in a position where you realize that you neglected to recognize an entire aspect of a person and end up in a difficult situation further down the line.

As I've grown in the last few years and learned to put myself first and demand that those that I allow to be a huge presence in my life are mutual reciprocators not just takers or only making guest appearances in my life I've set some definite boundaries as for how much abuse I'm willing to take from anyone whether we are related or not. I realize that my role is to be a nurturer and supporter to a lot of people and having that kind of investment in other people puts me in a position to be greatly affected by how they treat me in return. Suffice it to say some people will pull closer and others will push you away. But I go where I'm wanted now instead of trying to be the nice guy!