Christmas List

So lets say this Christmas I could have whatever I want, what do I want?????


1.- I'd like a 2008 Black Nissan Altima with a Moonroof!!! I love my Audrey, but I'm entering a new stage in life and it's time. I shall call her Katherine, Kat for short!!!



2.- This COACH bag is WONDERFUL!!! I would so love to have it, if I had some expendable income it would be mine!


3. - I loooooooooooved this coat when I saw it on Glee, it's way out of the budget though!!!



4. - A vacation to an island, well if all goes well this summer after graduation this wish will come true! Keeping my fingers crossed!




5. - Last, and definitely not least I would love if magically all of my bills were paid and everything was caught up!!! That would be STUPENDOUS!


And there you have it, my top 5 wish list. The great thing is, however, that whether I got one or none of these things this year, this Christmas will be awesome! I have so much to be thankful for, I have a stable job, I am one semester away from having my Masters & 5 years of work experience in the field, can you say $$$$$ show me the money $$$$$ lol! I have a wonderful brother and friends, and best of all I am continuing to grow in character, ability, confidence, & sanity, and that's worth more than any gift!

I Wish...

I wish females were nicer to one another! Have you ever been out at the mall or in a club or wherever, and there is a female who obviously looks really good and other females for the life of them can not give her any props or say things like "she aight" "that outfit is cute but..." and etc.

I was just talking to someone about how we as females don't seem to realize how much we bring ourselves down. Women already get dressed, put on makeup, do crazy ass diets, and work out like mad women. The sad thing is that they don't do it for themselves, and contrary to popular belief they don't even do it for their man or a potential man. They do it for other women, to attempt to cover up whatever imperfections if not physically then with in their personality & character that they do not want revealed. I know, and remember in my experience growing up there was a lot of pressure to have the nicest clothes, the best hair style and etc. It starts very young, and it only gets worse as we get older. I feel that most women (if that's what you want to call them) don't realize that the actions that they continue to perpetuate that were started so long ago only work to continue to bring down the young women growing up today.

For instance, when female rappers/lyricists/mc's and the like have "beef" or "diss" one another I think they don't recognize that firstly they are in an industry where they are outnumbered at least 10 to 1, secondly men will always in this country anyway, have the upper hand in the rap game. When they have these beefs and put each other down they only work to diminish the popularity of another female rapper. It doesn't propel or boost their career like it would if a man were to do the same thing.

I say all this to say that if we as women truly want to see less "drama" be less "catty" be more real, looked at as intelligent and not hateful individuals the first step to that is to teach the young women coming up that it is okay to give another female a compliment, that one does not need to compare or meet the standard of beauty that someone else has designed to be beautiful. We have to instill self-esteem and self-worth in females from a young age. NOT CONCEITEDNESS but confidence. We have to show each other respect and not let another females beauty whether inside or out make our judgment of ourselves any less or raise defensiveness in us.

The fact of the matter is, in this world, you are always going to have to fight hard to be looked at for who you are, and respected for who you are. You could be the "ugliest" or the "prettiest" female that has graced the Earth and in the end you are going to have to face the same battles with your self-esteem and developing a sense of self-worth. Why don't we help one another out and instead of focusing on what is "wrong" with someone else, we identify what within us is wonderfully beautiful and look for what is wonderfully beautiful in other females and let them know it. We are already fighting an uphill battle but to change that we have to start somewhere!

Champagne For My Real Friends Real Pain For My Fake Friends

I keep it real, and I don't know any other way to keep it. Nothing in this world upsets me more than when circumstances or situations require me to bite my tongue and fake a smile when all I really want to say is please stop being fake, you don't like me, I don't like you and let's just keep it moving!!! The main reason I don't do it is because even though I honestly could care less I know that not everyone else thinks the way that I do, and I'm not going to put myself in a position where I may not be treated well or am at a disadvantage because I couldn't suck it up for a moment and put a smile on my face. Now when it comes to palling around and what not, you can forget that shit! I am really not a fan of the politics that take place in the world we live in. If you are a strong, confident, female, who honestly works hard for herself and enjoys accomplishing things for herself, who encourages herself, and pushes herself, you are bound to be forced to pretend that so many things are "important" that aren't because idiots with feeble self-esteems are in a position to make things more or less uncomfortable for you.

Do you want to know what I think is important? When I am driving home from work and it is 20 degrees outside and I see homeless people with a jacket and a book bag walking around with no where to go and no where to sleep! That's important!!! A lot of people need to get over themselves and their fakery!

Dos XX

Dos Equis

I'm not a huge beer person, but I absolutely LOVE Dos Equis!!!! Not even for the badass commercials and Esteban as I call him, lol! It's just really a great beer.

The Tao

The Tao or The Way has been so helpful to me in focusing on my own actions and coming from a place of love and respect. I like anyone else am not perfect. I found that wondering why others do what they do or why certain things have happened to me to be a distraction from the lesson and from taking control over what I can change. The Tao also has helped me to recognize my unique nature and utilize my assets as best I can instead of focusing on what I have not accomplished and have not been good at. Most importantly I think The Tao has helped me to worry less about life and just live it and be open to what comes my way. I know a lot of people feel like they can't except Eastern ways or practices because they feel that it takes their focus off of God or means that they are worshiping something other than God. I still am a full fledged God fearing, Jesus died for my sins believing Christian, I view The Tao as a helpful aid of reminders to change the way you may currently be thinking to a more positive and natural way of being!

~* Etta James *~

I love Etta James! Every time I "discover" another song from her that I have not heard before it is better than the last! I am thankful that I am old enough to appreciate the themes behind so much of her music now. Enjoy!!!!

Hmmmmm

Maybe it's just me, but Diddy's Last Train to Paris seems to have been done and is over with. I know there is a large part of the population mostly the younger part who is really interested in the bubble gum hip hop, and the many "rappers" under the age of 25 that have come out recently, but come on Diddy you a grown ass man!!!

Maybe it's just me, but it does seem as though Diddy has in a lot of ways remade his last CD threw in a LARGE dose of Kanye West, specifically tracks from Graduation and auto tune of 808's & Heartbreak threw in two women that can sing and decided to call it something new! Well I'm not falling for it, and I'm damn sure not going to buy it! That's if the ish ever comes out, I know he's been announcing it was coming for what seems like a year now, and I really don't see why people are still interested. I think I would respect it more and be okay with it if he came out and called it what it is, basically he was inspired by Kanye and all of those that were coming out with the auto tune ish a few years ago and decided to jump on the train as opposed to making up some new train. I hardly want to hear Diddy rap I definitely don't want to hear him sing and even the titles/slash themes of some of the songs I find interesting such as Hello Goodmorning VS Goodmorning or Love Come Down VS Love Lockdown or Coming Home VS Homecoming I am sure I am not the only one who thinks this way, but I just decided to voice it. I'll be glad when the shit finally drops so I don't have to hear about it anymore! Since it is Diddy I'm sure Last Train will sell lots of copies and people will continue to lose their minds over this "new movement" as for me I'd rather a train run over every copy so that I don't get trapped somewhere and have to listen to it!!!!

I Loves Music!!! Yeah I said LOVES!!!

What I'm Not "Supposed" To Say...

You had me at "Kris"! From day one you always have and to a certain extent from a distance you always will. I can't let myself say it to you because you don't deserve to know, you don't deserve a chance! I've worked entirely too hard to put the pieces back together it took me years to get to this place.

And... yet... If I'm being completely honest with myself, my soul lights up when I talk to you! I feel it in my chest and in my gut that you feel the same way too. It's not my fault and it's not my job to convince you of anything and so I don't bother trying. I wish sometimes that it was just easier. I wish that you could just see what I see and not be afraid of it appreciate it and realize how it could make your life complete and BETTER! I wish you had more confidence in yourself, I wish that you weren't scared... I wish a lot of things but I keep it moving. I don't stop or pause or allow myself to go beyond that moment of hearing your voice and being in Heaven for that period of time. When the conversation is over I put you out of sight (sound) out of mind. Because I have to recognize that my heart is fucking fool when it comes to you and doesn't understand that the messes it creates and pulls me into my mind is left cleaning up later. It doesn't understand that because it wants and hopes and loves unconditionally that when it's not returned that it will break!

So... I have to be the strong one. I have to believe in myself encourage myself and continue to make my life better for me! I have to hope and believe that one day it will be the right time for the right someone to come into my life who isn't scared and who see's what it is that I am capable of offering and wants it! I can dream but when it comes to matters of the heart one person can't do it alone, and I refuse to let my heart drag me to those automatic and residual feelings...

Chinese Pig Outlook for the year 2010 by Yahoo

I have to say this is extremely accurate thus far in most aspects...

Years of the Pig:

1911, 1923, 1935, 1947, 1959, 1971, 1983, 1995, 2007

Pig Overview

As a Pig sign person you are the fortunate recipient of not only that famous Tiger luck but also of Metal's benefit, as it is the element most favorable to you. This is amply demonstrated by your looking forward to so many, positive months in 2010. Even your nemesis, the Snake, can only bring you a neutral one. It is likely to be an exciting time, even a little wild. One key to your success is maintaining self control. You can bet there will be occasions where it will not be easy. Enjoy the ride but do not let yourself get caught up in all the drama. Odds are you cannot keep up with the Tiger the whole way through. Conserve your energy and be ready to hop on your ship when it sails.
Pig Rating

73% (11 favorable and 1 neutral month)
Pig Career

A shift in workplace dynamics this year should ultimately be to your liking. Whether it is a change in position or responsibilities, odds are your career is in for a shake up. Pigs have little to fear from the Year of the Tiger; the Tiger is your friend and has your interests at heart. What you can expect by year's end is more autonomy on the job. That could mean increased flexibility in work hours to afford you a better work-life balance, as well as an opportunity to exercise more creativity. You are also likely to be recognized by your superiors or colleagues for having gone to unusual lengths. Don't underestimate yourself. Your flexibility and resourcefulness are likely to prove their value this year. Collaboration should play a significant role in your professional life in 2010, and initiatives you take as part of a team are likely to be successful.
Pig Relationships

Family and domestic matters are likely to occupy much of your time and energy this year. You may find yourself in a caretaker role for an older person, but instead of being a burden, you may actually find you get even more than you give in this situation. So give of yourself freely; the relationship will be mutually rewarding. The year will be an active one, with no shortage of celebrations and memorable gatherings of loved ones. Most of your relationships will be rewarding, and it is advisable to cultivate new friendships. Your longstanding ones are probably secure and may even benefit from the diversity new perspectives bring. If you are single, it is a particularly good year to meet a stable, loving partner. Don't pass up any opportunity to expand your social horizons.
Pig Health

The Tiger Year is one of change, and for Pigs it is an important time to make positive ones in your health patterns. It is more than likely you have fallen into a rut in recent years or clung to habits that no longer serve a purpose but to bring you down. You know what they are. You should enjoy the energy and gumption this year to finally make a clean break from bad health choices and, just as important, to replace them with new and better ones. Physical activity that makes you sweat should be extremely rewarding; set fun goals and track your fitness throughout the year. It may help to find a workout partner and make each other stick to the commitment. Improvement here will mirror happy developments in other areas of your life. Coincidence? We think not.
Pig Wealth

Pigs should curtail any unnecessary spending in 2010. You are likely to have enough resources to make ends meet but not a lot of room for discretion. There will be great temptation to overdo, especially where family is concerned. Your intentions are good, but the fact is you probably can't afford it right now. Show your love and generosity in ways that don't require credit cards, and let others fend for themselves financially. Resist the illusion you are wealthy when you receive an unexpected sum of money, and bank rather than spend it. You will need it later, as your long term financial security could be at stake.

For Colored Girls

I will definitely be going to see this!

I love Yeezy!

I always new that one day... they'd try to bring me down!!!

Yes Sir!

That Miracle Whips line is pretty hot....

RichGirl

I absolutely love this group! I love the confidence that they exude in a lot of their club thumpers but I also like some of their slower music especially this one...

Lucky You Are

It was so hard for me to admit
That I was so deep in love with him
Oh especially sense, sense he's your man

Don't hate him cause he doesn't know
I need him when I feel alone

I ain't here to try to piss you off
I just had to come and get this off my chest
Girl I hope you know you're blessed
Cause I do

Ohhhh, I hope you see what I know
And I hope you feel what I can't
You don't know how lucky you are
I hope you know what you got
(Oh I hope you know what you got)

Damn, I can't front I want to be with him
Ain't never felt the way I feel with him
Oh, this don't make any sense, cause I know he's your man

And I didn't come here to make you mad
But I love him and it makes me sad
You got the best thing that I've never had
I just had to come and get this off of my chest

Girl I hope you know you're blessed

Ohhhhh I hope you see what I know
And I hope you feel what I can't
You don't know how lucky you are

I hope you know what you got

I hope I find somebody some day
(Just like you)

And he treats me like I never had
(Like he treats you)

It's hard but I have to say...
I wish he looked at me that way
I hope you know just how lucky you are, you are

Oh, I hope you see what I know
And I hope you feel what I can't
You don't know how lucky you are
I hope you know what you got...

Banks!

Hello, my name is Kristin and I have a problem, if I saw Lloyd Banks in public I'm pretty sure I would walk up to him and lick his face......

Forgiveness!

Patience has long been something I've been able to exercise from a young age. At one point as a defense in some ways because things were so bad at times that I had to believe that they were going to get better eventually and overwhelmingly better at that in order to get through the tough times.

Forgiveness on the other hand has been one of those learning processes that I'm still going through but I think I have made great strides in exercising the true purpose of forgiveness. I have been able to forgive myself and others so that I can be free!!! A lot of people harbor anger or dislike towards others because they mistakingly believe to forgive them would be giving something to their offenders or makes them look weak or denotes that what they did was alright. Forgiveness doesn't do any of those things. Giving yourself the gift of forgiveness whether it's in regards to forgiving yourself or others allows you to walk away, fall back, or disconnect your emotions from someone. It allows you to do it in a way that does not involve you lowering your self by remaining in anger or disappointment and hurt. Forgiveness does not mean that everything is "okay" that the persons actions were alright or that things will ever be the same between you again. Try exercising a little today, and if the olive branch extended is spit on at least you can walk away with a clear heart and mind.

Mariah Carey I Wish You Well

"I Wish You Well"

This goes out to you and you and you
You know who you are

Hmm hmm hmm
When glory days turn to stormy nights
You must have been so petrified
Didn't you, didn't you feel so cold
You against the world in a losing fight
Captive of your demons inside

So you sought an enemy
(I'm not your enemy. He lives in you, you know it's true)
Like times before to mock ignorantly
(But the Lord said love, love your enemy so just...)
Take heed to the Word it's time
Check Proverbs 19:29
Don't cry

I wish you well
I wish you well
I wish you well

I truly wanted solidarity
Still wearing my blinders back then
(So much I didn't see)
I weep for what I dreamed we all could be
I'll keep you in prayer till the end

Still bruised, still walk on eggshells
Same frightened child, hide to protect myself
(Can't believe I still need to protect myself from you)
But you can't manipulate me like before
Examine first John chapter 4 verse 4

And
I wish you well
I wish you well
I wish you well

Be strong in the Lord and power of His might

If my shows of gratitude are miniscule
Inside your mind, sorry
(I'm so sorry, please forgive me)
There's only so much I can do I love you and did all that I could

Maybe when you're cursing me
You don't feel so incomplete
But we've all made mistakes
Felt the guilt and self-hate

I know you've been there for me plenty
Maybe still got love for me
But let him without sin cast the first stone brethren
But who remains standing then
Not you not I see Phillipians 4:9
(Put it into practice and the God of Peace will be with you)

So
I wish you well
I wish you well
I wish you well

(He who the Son sets free is free indeed)
No weapon formed against me shall prosper
Surely God is my salvation
I will trust and not be afraid
The Lord, the Lord is my salvation
I will trust in Him
Yes, I know that I know that I know that I know

But I have had God's help to this very day
And so I stand here and testify
To small and great alike
So the more you curse me
The more you're blessing me
The Word said it
Love your enemies

Do good to those who curse you
Pray for those who mistreat you
Psalms 129:2
They have greatly oppressed me from my youth
But they have not gained victory over me
(In Jesus' name)

I wish you well

He that keeps his mind state on the Lord
He will keep them in perfect peace

He WILL Carry Me by Mark Schultz

I call, You hear me
I’ve lost it all
And it’s more than I can bear
I feel so empty

You’re strong
I’m weary
I’m holdin’ on
But I feel like givin’ in
But still You’re with me

chorus:
And even though I’m walkin’ through
The valley of the shadow
I will hold tight to the hand of Him
Whose love will comfort me
And when all hope is gone
And I’ve been wounded in the battle
He is all the strength that I will
Ever need
And He will carry me

I know I’m broken
But You alone
Can mend this heart of mine
You’re always with me

chorus

And even though I feel so lonely
Like I’ve never been before
You never said it would be easy
But You said you’d see me through
The storm

chorus

Kelly Price Tired LOVE it!

Kelly Price - Tired
String Interlude
There's a whole in my heart...
My soul... is bleeding...
I need to free...my mind...
And see what...
I'm feeling
Cause Lord knows, Lord knows,I'm......(I'm tired)
Tired of the way he treats me(Tired)
Tired of the guilty feelings (tired)
Tired of the broken dreams (tired)
I'm (tired) tired of the old routines
I'm (tired) tired of the Baby Mamas (tired)
Tired of the ghetto drama (tired)
Tired of the back and forth (tired)
I'm (tired) tired of in and out the courts
I'm (tired) tired of all the games and lies
I'm (tired) tired of phony alibis
I'm (tired) tired of praying that it works
I'm (tired) even tired of going to church
I'm (tired) tired of paying these bills
I'm (tired) said I'm tired of keeping it real
I'm (tired) tired of crying (tired)and I'm tired of smiling (tired)
I'm tired of all the haters
I'm (tired) I'm tired of all the players
I'm (tired) tired of the games
I'm so tired (tired)
Cause it's about to drive me insane (tired)
And Oh I'm so tired of taking it (tired)
Said yeah I'm so tired of faking it (tired)
Cause you don't do it for me no more (tired)
You just don't do it no more (tired)
I'm tired of being wronged and doing right(tired)
Said I'm tired of keeping peace in time to fight (tired)
I'm tired of letting go, then holding on (tired)
I'm tired of feeling weak and being strong (tired)
So let me hear if you tired (tired)
Gotta make some noise if you tired (tired)
Oh throw them up if you tired (tired)
Oh wave your hands if your tired
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah
Let it go!
GO, GO, GO, GO

Learn From Others Hard Ways!

You know that saying "I had to learn the hard way"? Well sometimes I think it is perfectly reasonable to learn from others hard ways. Not to say that every situation is the same or that you can take one situation and apply it directly to another. You really can't. But how many times have you been hanging out with your girls or your boys talking about a situation and everyone goes man I no what you mean or I went through almost the exact same thing?

There have been many times where people have commented on my honesty or supposed wisdom in various situations. The reason why I have that knowledge or can be so honest is because I spend a great deal of time learning from others hard ways. I spend a great deal of time observing those around me and identifying the red flags that come about. Why? Well I have a genuine interest in people, but also because if I can learn from others situations then maybe I won't have to repeat someone else's mistakes or maybe when similar circumstances begin to show up I can avoid going through the same situation.

Which leads us to the topic of today's note. We are all born with a varying level of pride and ego that is integrated with our perceptions, feelings, and desires. What do I mean by that? What I mean is that we all make decisions when it comes to what we want, see, feel, and do with a varying level of our pride and or ego invested. If we want something really badly and may have invested a great deal of our pride and how we feel about ourselves into the end result of that want. If we get what we want we feel like we have it figured out and we feel really good about our accomplishment. Where as if we do not get what we want it can affect the way that we feel about ourselves, it hurts our pride and our feelings, we may feel varying levels of confusion and disappointment as well.

When people can clearly identify to you what they DO NOT want, believe them. Here is the fact and truth plain and simply. It is difficult at times for us to determine what we want whether it be in a job, relationship, friendship, and etc. This is because you can get what you want and it turns out to be different than what you expected or you change your mind or grow and change in a way that you require something different. Where as when someone is able to identify what they do not want, it is often because they have experienced that in some fashion before or they clearly know due to their current surroundings and circumstances that they do not want it. It is a much more clear determination. Unfortunately, many times we are in tune with our feelings wants and desires to a certain degree and when others express counter to what it is that we want whether it be because of the degree of our pride that is tied into the situation or because of the lack of our ability to understand that because we see something a certain way does not mean that someone else does or even wants to! You may have a clear line of sight that states A, B, C, D, and so on. That is your line of thinking your way of doing things. Where as someone else may think F, G, C, D, I, and so on. It doesn't make one necessarily the correct way or the wrong way to look at things. They are just different. In these cases you have to respect the decisions of others the process where by someone else comes to a decision and most importantly you need to be aware that all the want and hope in the world on your part will not change that.

Which leads to something that is also very difficult for most of us to absorb, and understand, the intentional deception of others. I tend to believe that understanding this frame of mind is very similar to understanding those who think differently than you may in general. Whether they start off with the aim to be honest or dishonest often times it does not matter. What matters is that at times people tell white lies, to hopefully avoid hurting someones feelings or to avoid something small being viewed as or becoming something major. These lies often times are not damning to any relationship. Others tell lies because they don't have the courage to tell the truth, because they want to avoid being judged, or because they do not want someones perception of them to change. These lies are dangerous to any friendship or relationship, because what starts off as something small could eventually turn into a trail of lies a trail of deception and the ending or parting of ways on bad terms. Or worse a pardoning of this behavior that possibly leads to the signaling on your part to another individual that they have power over you. It is difficult to believe or to accept that others willfully at times deceive us and continue to do so if the behavior is left unchecked. We often times want to see the best in others. Second chances and forgiveness are something I am truly a fan of, with this caveat, what will be different??? If someone has betrayed your trust and you accept an apology with out finding out what if anything in them has changed, what about the relationship you have do they now see, and what steps are they going to take to prevent such a deception from occurring again, then you are forgetting the most important piece to this puzzle. YOURSELF! in letting your desire to forgive your want to not lose the interaction you have with this person, you may be cheating yourself out of an opportunity to set boundaries, to value your self worth, and propel yourself into a cycle of unhappiness.

The decision to forgive, the decision to understand a situation or circumstance, the decision to accept someone for who they are, are all things that we have control over, decisions that we have to make on a regular basis. We, however, are not responsible for the decisions or actions of others in response or that make those decisions necessary for us to make. We are responsible for recognizing the qualities with in ourselves that we respect that we have cultivated, such as being honest, considerate of others,or having a strong and upstanding character, for example. It is important to determine then if you have all of these qualities with in you WHY would it ever make sense to find a lack of those qualities acceptable in someone whom you decide to give access to your life, to your feelings? Why does someone else deserve to have someone like you who does have those qualities, and you have to settle for a lack of them?

And lastly for the GUT PUNCH: If you can make compromises meet someone more than half way see what could be where it could go and that person wants to keep you in their life, keep you around, but is not able or willing to meet you in the middle and to make some compromises, why should you believe or wait for that way of thinking to change? Where is your benefit if you compromise what you want for something that may or may not happen? Which brings back around full circle. When you have the opportunity to learn from others situations and circumstances and to hear how in many situations similar to your own, when deception, and an unwillingness to compromise (and not just in words, but through visible actions) were present that it was a situation that had a negative result, learn sooner rather than later that it may be time to re-evaluate your situation and make sure that the time and effort that you are investing in someone is being invested rightly so.

The Push and Pull Effect

Every new chapter brings new connections and opportunities in your life. As you get older and more stable in who you are and who you want to be and what direction that you are going in, you learn to see red flags a little easier. Then the question becomes do you accept new people and opportunities into your life that do not fit into where it is that you are going?

The bigger question that also presents itself is what happens to the older chapters in your life if they are not going in the same direction as you? Sure in regards to family members you get what you get and you just have to deal but in regards to friends some of who may even be like family to you, what happens when you begin to diverge on two different tracks?

I refer to both of these situations as the push and pull effect. For every person or opportunity you pull towards you it is possible that you may have to push other people and opportunities further away. Such is life, if you are not growing then you are not living! Of course it's never that simple and sometimes you just have to come to the conclusion that some people and situations in your life have to be upgraded or downgraded into different roles. I don't think that any person who is in your life that is trying to be a part of your life should ever be kicked to the curb because you are on different levels or going in different directions but I do think that your expectations of each other have to be ammended and that it's okay to not pull as much as you used to, or allow yourself to be pulled as much as you may have at one time!

As for those new chapters I think going in caution is always the best approach when you are not sure. If you pull to much too soon you may find yourself in a position where you realize that you neglected to recognize an entire aspect of a person and end up in a difficult situation further down the line.

As I've grown in the last few years and learned to put myself first and demand that those that I allow to be a huge presence in my life are mutual reciprocators not just takers or only making guest appearances in my life I've set some definite boundaries as for how much abuse I'm willing to take from anyone whether we are related or not. I realize that my role is to be a nurturer and supporter to a lot of people and having that kind of investment in other people puts me in a position to be greatly affected by how they treat me in return. Suffice it to say some people will pull closer and others will push you away. But I go where I'm wanted now instead of trying to be the nice guy!

Eat Pray Love

I still haven't gotten a chance to see the movie yet, but I can't imagine that the movie could be nearly as good as the book was. I definitely think she took some major steps in the search and journey to nurture and take care of herself, but I think any person who takes on lofty goals in life and one day looks around and realizes that the status quo may not be what they really want and need can appreciate her grandios journey.

I really like that she was just very real with her stories and was not worried about how she looked. If she was crying on the floor in a bathroom she was if she was in a room full of people and felt alone she was and if she was in one of the most beautiful cities in the world and still felt depressed she was. I really loved it to say the least!

An American Tail

I really can't describe how comforting yet devastatingly emotional this movie was to/made me in my childhood, although it's meaning is deeply symbolic to those who have faced oppression. For me it was and is still deeply symbolic of various struggles I faced back then. Being seperated from family, feeling lost in the world and as if I was being kept apart from those who were most important too me, having to learn the hard lesson that not everyone can be trusted or has good intentions even if I do and what consequences occur when you're learning that lesson were all themes that I took away from this movie.

LOVVVVVVVES IT!!!

Complex-Simplicity

Life is complex! It's absolutely amazing to me how on the one hand I can be so incredibly happy with aspects, but yet completely unhappy with other aspects. Just staying thankful, prayed up, and trying to keep it simple.

I have been living by the idea that if you're not for me than you are against me, and that I deserve to get in return what I put out.

I think believing that was a key piece in getting what I need and want out of situations. It works much better for me, I just hope that I didn't start too late for some aspects of my life.

Simplicity

"You leave old habits behind by starting out with the thought, 'I release the need for this in my life'."

-Dr. Wayne Dyer

It's as simple as that!

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat???

I am a planner. I have accepted that and I'm okay with it. I like to organize things and I like to watch that plan work itself out. Whether it works out the way I plan is not really important. I just find comfort in having a guideline.

Well they always say if you want to make God laugh then tell him your plans. He must be having a field day right now. I have encountered two situations in the last several weeks where I don't even know how or where to start to plan for, the fact of the matter is that it is all completely out of my hands and there is nothing for me to plan.

The first situation is a fairly easy one. I am looking for a sight to do my prac/internship at. There isn't some book of guidelines that you can follow. Some places have placements some don't. Some want resumes and cover letters others want resumes and recommendations. I really just have to make the contact and then hope for the best. It definitely frazzles me and I worry that I'll end up taking a placement that I'm not all that excited about and just doing it because it is available. That is my biggest worry. I want my internship to be a great experience where I learn a lot and hopefully related to what I want to do long term. I am confident though that I can make any placement a worthwhile experience.

The other situation on the other hand is a tad bit more complicated. I can't make a plan for it, I can't control it in any way really. All I can do is be open and honest and see what happens. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, I kind of think that out of sight out of mind. Not to say that absence doesn't make me miss someone, it does. But sometimes when you spend time with someone you realize how much you've missed them, how comfortable you are with them, how much you'd like to be around them more often and talk to them all the time. Sometimes being with someone you care about shows you how much you really care about them. I don't know it's a tough situation.