Three point Five Years

3.5 years will be summed up by a commencement ceremony to receive one piece of paper, but in that 3.5 yrs I've built, developed, & ended relationships, I've fought w/ those I love(d) been cared for & betrayed. I've learned too many lessons to summarize, stayed up long nights writing papers, worked 10,11,12, & 13 hr days, while doing 7,9, & 10 cr hrs worth of classes. Drove two or more hours per day to work & school & back, worked overtime, overnights, dealt with crisis & being treated like a taxi service. While being present for marriages, divorces, cancers, heart attacks, births, & deaths. I've fallen out of & in love with counseling & w/ people. I've doubted myself & my ability, gained & regained my confidence, learned new skills & honed others. Pinched pennies, borrowed money, time, and food, given my last, my best, my all. Prayed for clarity, meditated in stillness for an answer. I've learned who truly wants to see me succeed & who could careless. I've demanded a lot of myself lived through the arguments & put myself back together when the love was gone. I've learned what it's like to be truly exhausted & continue on another day, how to have a 103 degree temperature and still get to work & class. I've learned when to say "no more", the difference between self-care & selfishness. What 6 day 60 hr work weeks & 6 hours of sleep per night do to your body and your mind, and still carried others worries & struggles on my shoulders, lived through the mood swings mine & others, the body aches, the cramps, the physical rundown of the emotional and mental strain. I've expanded my horizons, obtained new levels, learned what balance is and isn't. I've jumped with excitement for 53 credit hours of A's & 3 credit hours of B's all the same, I've changed... I've GROWN! I've felt the excitement of helping someone get to the next level, solve a problem, start over, feel empowered & encouraged, and renew them self. I've escaped to closets & secluded bathrooms to hyperventilate and cry and sunny beaches to soak it in and renew. One piece of paper can not even begin to describe what the last 3 years and soon to be 3.5 years of my life have been. So if you see me walk across that stage in May with tears & a smile, you can say now that you know why!