Sometimes we take for granted, or forget what brings us together. Not just the fact that you are drawn to other people, that you have similar personalities or that you are complete opposites and compliment each other well, not the need to be around other human beings, not the want to be understood and loved regardless.
We forget the pressure. We forget about that day that time when you were so down when you had a frickin’ mountain sittin on your chest, when you had already cried so much that your eyes were puffy, and red, and they hurt....and low and behold who was there for you? We forget about how at different times different people were the support that we needed, our go to person. They either said all the right things or were just there to sit and listen and it made all the difference. It relieved that mountain sitting on your chest and instead it turned into a manageable boulder, all because someone who didn’t have to be there decided to be concerned and show care for us.
I bring this up because I’m like everyone else in the world, and have forgotten about the pressure at times, that brought me close to one person or another. So I just wanted to take this time to say that I remember. I remember the lowest days and who was there for me when I needed them and I want those people to know that they are appreciated, thank you for moving the mountain off of my chest and making me feel like I wasn’t alone. Thank you for listening and caring and just being there. One of my professors tells us all the time that there are not enough "at a boys" in life. It is very true! The line of work that I’m in and plan on going into, lets you know right off the bat if you’re doing it for the feeling of achievement if you’re doing it because you think someone is going to be thankful for you changing their lives then you need to pick a different profession. The way of counseling is that you may very well change someones life but you may not be there to see those changes, or you may not be able to get through to someone at all, or they may take all the credit for the change and act as if they never needed your help.
In my profession I understand that, but in life in general I don’t think it’s ok. We all need to be appreciative and greatful and giving of those "at a boys" to the people who are or were in our lives that were there when we really needed someone to be there. We all take our friends and loved ones for granted too much. It usually takes a time in our lives when we lose that person or we really need them again for us to realize that. So I’m saying don’t let that happen take the time out now to think back on the struggle and the pressure in your life and thank those who have been there for. You won’t just be showing your appreciation but you might just make someones day!!!
Share the Love!
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
Explosm.net
I assume that as a female these types of comics are probably not supposed to be so funny to me, seeing as though the site really does cater to the male demographic. Ahh well, I think it's hilarious.
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Taking It Too Far...
I was just reading this article that this guy wrote about the new cover of Vogue. Apparently, it has a picture of LeBron James and the model Giselle on the front cover. Well apparently people are saying that the cover makes LeBron look like he is King Kong carrying off the helpless white woman and in-short portraying another black man as the angry/dangerous black man. So the article the guy was writing was saying that he wishes that there was a handbook out there that us black folk could carry around so we would know when to be upset, disappointed, or really pissed the fuck off about things. When I was reading it I was thinking to myself he is soooooo right. Now when I looked at the cover I could see how that assumption could be made, but I could also see how they could have been trying to say that he can hold a white woman and drive down the court with a basketball all at the same time as well. It really wasn't that offensive to me.
The whole thing made me think of some of my Grad. school classes that I'm taking. We are learning all about being multicultural counselors and being sensitive to all races, genders, etc., etc. I don't have a problem with that at all but in all honestly I think that they go to far sometimes. I'm going to be honest yes I am a black woman but if I walked into my therapists office and he or she tried to relate to me as an African-American and express to me how they are empathetic to my struggle and understand where I'm coming from not only would I laugh my ass off, but I don't know if I would stay in treatment with them. I'm not trying to knock the efforts that people are making and have made to make sure that everyone is represented in therapy and that people realize that you do have to be sensitive to differences in cultures. I just think on one hand they may be going to far. You need to get to know your client for who they are and what they represent BEFORE you decide how to treat them. We watched this one video in class and this guy was all about how he has treated African-Americans before and how he's read this book and that book and bla bla bla and he was trying to "market" himself to this supposed client it was the most rediculous thing I've ever seen. Just completely hilarious!!! There was no way that I could take it seriously.
Then my teacher was handing out articles for people to read and one of them was about how black women are apparently "torn" between Hillary Clintion and Barack Obama because one is black and the other is a woman. I made the comment to some of my classmates. Oh, really, I didn't know that I was torn between gender and race I thought I was supposed to be torn between beliefs and what they stand for and are saying they will bring to the White House. They laughed when I said it but I was being really honest. What happened to looking at the issues and the facts, I'm not torn between shit. I know who I'm voting for and I'm honestly somewhat insulted that she brought that "article" into class thinking that it was of importance. We are all supposed to be treated equally and get along and all of that good stuff. And the only reason back in the day and now that-that doesn't happen is out of someone's ignorance and hate. Those are the things that people need to work on, not putting one group or trying to be so pc, or trying to be so accomodating that you begin to spark ignorance and hate on a whole other level. As they say the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I want to be considered as an equal to any and all people, so treat me equally and stop treating me differently but with a positive spin on it as opposed to the negative spin that used to be common place.
The whole thing made me think of some of my Grad. school classes that I'm taking. We are learning all about being multicultural counselors and being sensitive to all races, genders, etc., etc. I don't have a problem with that at all but in all honestly I think that they go to far sometimes. I'm going to be honest yes I am a black woman but if I walked into my therapists office and he or she tried to relate to me as an African-American and express to me how they are empathetic to my struggle and understand where I'm coming from not only would I laugh my ass off, but I don't know if I would stay in treatment with them. I'm not trying to knock the efforts that people are making and have made to make sure that everyone is represented in therapy and that people realize that you do have to be sensitive to differences in cultures. I just think on one hand they may be going to far. You need to get to know your client for who they are and what they represent BEFORE you decide how to treat them. We watched this one video in class and this guy was all about how he has treated African-Americans before and how he's read this book and that book and bla bla bla and he was trying to "market" himself to this supposed client it was the most rediculous thing I've ever seen. Just completely hilarious!!! There was no way that I could take it seriously.
Then my teacher was handing out articles for people to read and one of them was about how black women are apparently "torn" between Hillary Clintion and Barack Obama because one is black and the other is a woman. I made the comment to some of my classmates. Oh, really, I didn't know that I was torn between gender and race I thought I was supposed to be torn between beliefs and what they stand for and are saying they will bring to the White House. They laughed when I said it but I was being really honest. What happened to looking at the issues and the facts, I'm not torn between shit. I know who I'm voting for and I'm honestly somewhat insulted that she brought that "article" into class thinking that it was of importance. We are all supposed to be treated equally and get along and all of that good stuff. And the only reason back in the day and now that-that doesn't happen is out of someone's ignorance and hate. Those are the things that people need to work on, not putting one group or trying to be so pc, or trying to be so accomodating that you begin to spark ignorance and hate on a whole other level. As they say the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I want to be considered as an equal to any and all people, so treat me equally and stop treating me differently but with a positive spin on it as opposed to the negative spin that used to be common place.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Creepin In The Church
If you're going to do some grimey stuff like this I think the most important part is to not get caught...
Couple arrested for 'spiritual experience'
Couple arrested for 'spiritual experience'
I Still Got It & A Little Advice For Those Who Don't
Just got in from a night of drinking and talking and laughing with one of my bestist homies. I'm proud to announce I'm still cute, witty, and intriguing. You may ask, well firstly why did you think you weren't? And secondly why do you think you still are? Well it's not that I didn't think that I was, it's just I'm noticing some patterns in my life and even the most confident person is going to have a little bit of doubt seep in from time to time. Secondly, what seemed to be a very nice, well mannered, man with some sense asked for my digits. Oh, and he wasn't hard on the eyes either. So that's always an ego booster when a "quality" person asks to get to know you better. Cause Lord knows it seems to be really easy to attract the weirdos, losers, and immature bamas that should know off the gate they don't have a chance with me, but somehow convince themselves to talk to me anyway. Don't get me wrong I will work with someone. I probably will work with someone a little too much. Like if you have an education but you're not all that cute or you have a car but you still live with your Mom or you have a job but you have a Baby Mama, nobody is perfect so as long as you have goals and something going for you then I'm the optimistic type that says sure I'll try and work with you. This has only bit me in the ass recently and as I said before most of the time the element that hits on me on a regular doesn't have any of these things going for them. They are just immature little boys who must not realize how stupid they look or they wouldn't open their mouthes. On that same note, I was so very very close to telling this one guy tonight that his Mom should have swallowed. He was THAT bad. First off, to any guy if you see some girls at a table by themselves talking and it looks like they are having an intense conversation it might be a good idea to one wait til they look like they are finished or two just leave them alone for the night. Secondly, don't ever, ever, just walk up to a table and sit your crusty ass down while I'm in the middle of a conversation and without asking me if it's ok for you to sit there. It's not cute, especially when I've been trying to avoid your ass all night. Thirdly, if you're going to be so bold as to do the above shit you better have one damn good game, don't stair up in my face with nothing to say or expect me to make it easier on you, you should have it worked out in your head before you do all that above ignorant shit first what you are going to say otherwise you really are just asking me to hurt your feelings.
So in closing, dealt with some no good ignorant ass mo-fo's tonight and met a very nice and seemingly genuine individual as well. It was a good night overall. Time for sleep.
So in closing, dealt with some no good ignorant ass mo-fo's tonight and met a very nice and seemingly genuine individual as well. It was a good night overall. Time for sleep.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Interesting Facts
Here Are Some Interesting Facts A Friend Of Mine Shared With Me In An E-Mail:
In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have ''the rule of thumb"
Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language
The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S . Treasury
Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better
Coca-Cola was originally green
It is impossible to lick your elbow.
The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska
The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $ 16,400
The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour: 61,000
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer
The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history: Spades - King David Hearts - Charlemagne Clubs -Alexander, the Great Diamonds - Julius Caesar
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has> all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.
Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace
Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?
A. Obsession
Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you> would find the letter 'A'?
A. One thousand
Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All were invented by women
Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey
Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?
A. Father's Day
In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight"
It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.
In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down."It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's
Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.
At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow
Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?
In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have ''the rule of thumb"
Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language
The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S . Treasury
Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better
Coca-Cola was originally green
It is impossible to lick your elbow.
The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska
The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $ 16,400
The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour: 61,000
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer
The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history: Spades - King David Hearts - Charlemagne Clubs -Alexander, the Great Diamonds - Julius Caesar
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has> all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.
Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace
Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?
A. Obsession
Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you> would find the letter 'A'?
A. One thousand
Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All were invented by women
Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey
Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?
A. Father's Day
In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight"
It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.
In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down."It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's
Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.
At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow
Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?
Monday, March 17, 2008
Got It Back
You know how sometimes after you've been feeling down and overwhelmed for awhile you just wake up one morning and your swagga is just back. Today is that day. I just got back another paper in class. I've gotten 3 back so far and I got a 20 out of 20 on one and on the other two I only had two or three points off. Don't get me wrong Grad. school isn't a cake walk by any means but so far it's going sooo much easier than I thought. My only issues are the ones that I make for myself with time management and what not. I see so many people trippin like they really weren't expecting it to be the way it is or they think the teacher is being too hard cause they aren't babysitting them through assignments. Meanwhile I'm just chillin. I'm getting my stuff caught up at work and working hard to keep it caught up and that feels great. I just went and looked at an apartment and I love it and have decided whether certain people get there shit together or not I'll just get a roommate and move August 1st sticking to my original plans. So I'm feeling pretty good. I think I realized that how can I expect to feel positive if I don't pump myself up for it. So I'm pumping myself up for it. I've been making time do my pilates on a regular and I'm thinking if I keep it up in a month or so I'll probably be where I wanna be. So yeah, unfortunately I do have a lot of extra drama going on in the background. I'm choosing to not look at that stuff and focus on the positives and what is going right. I have so much potential and so many great things to look forward to that I shouldn't be down for a second. I'm 24, driven, intelligent, kind, and rather pretty I have a lot to be thankful for and life's too short to focus on that other shit. You either choose to let your struggles bring you down and stop you from progressing, or you become stronger for it and grow as a person. I'm all about the latter.
Yeah, Sure, We'll Be Fine
Does this make you feel better about our economy? Doesn't work for me. Especially when I drove by the gas station this morning and saw that gas had went up by 15 cents just over the weekend. Not cool at all, Katt Williams was making jokes that people shouldn't be at the gas pump making life decisions, eg. Am I going to eat today or fill up? When it gets to $4 a gallon and over I'm seriously going to have to ask myself those questions, that's tough!
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Mariah Is Back!!!
I love Mariah Carey! She's one of the only ones who still puts out a quality cd every time. Whitney fell off and into CRACK, Janet has gone all techno, Mariah is the only female that I grew up listening to that is still out there doing her thing. I can't wait til April 15th to go and get it. You should too.
Discovery Health Channel Presents...
I found these video clips very informative provided by Discovery Health Channel. We have lots of information on Breast Cancer and other cancers. It is just recently that people are becoming more knowledgeable about Cervical Cancer. Pass the link on not just to the chicks in your life but to the guys too. Information is power.
Discovery Health CME: HPV and Cervical Cancer
Discovery Health CME: HPV and Cervical Cancer
Saturday, March 15, 2008
From The Mouthes of Babes...
Let's see back in January of 2002 I was 18 years old. I wrote the following entry in my diary back then. It's amazing to me that 6 years ago I was so enlightened and yet I have still been through the things that I've been through. Why hasn't 24 year old Kris listened to what 18 year old Kris new, way back then. A lot, so much has changed since I have written this. I have been "in love" once since then, something that I wasn't sure would ever happen. I'm definitely not a virgin anymore but all of those feelings that I emoted then are back. I wish I would have known then what I know now, and I would've known that I had it right back then and instead of believing that maybe I was being too cynical I wish I would have just trusted myself then.
January 18, 2002
I'll never marry. Not any man. I've known men too intimately. I've witnesed their infidelities, and I've helped them to it. Unzipped and Unhooked and agreed to clandestine maneuvers. I've been accomplice, commited premeditated crimes. I'm guilty of having caused deliberate pain to other women. I'm vindictive and cruel, and I'm capable of anything.
I admit, there was a time when all I wanted was to belong to a man. To wear that gold band on my left hand and be worn on his arm like an expensive jewel brilliant in the light of day. Not the sneaking around I did in different bars that all looked the same, red carpets with a black grillwork design, flocked wallpaper, wooden wagon-wheel light fixtures with hurricane lampshades a sick amber color like the drinking glasses you get for free at gas stations.
Dark bars, dark restaurants then. And if not my apartment, with toothbrush firmly planted in the toothbrush holder like a flag on the North Pole. The bed so big because he never stayed the whole night. Of course not.
Borrowed. That's how I've had my men. Just the cream skimmed off the top. Just the sweetest part of the fruit, without the bitter skin that daily living with a spouse can rend. They've come to me when they wanted the sweet meat then.
So, no. I've never married and never will. Not because I couldn't, but because I'm too romantic for marriage. Marriage has failed me, you could say. Not a man exists who hasn't disappointed me, whom I could trust to love the way I've loved. It's because I believe too much in marriage that I don't. Better to not marry than live a lie."
-from "Never Marry A Mexican" by Sandra Cisneros
It's really a wonderful short story it'll keep your attention the entire time. It's full of sex, love, deciet and all of those things that are for some reason interesting to read about. I've never been in the exact positions that she has mainly because I'm a virgin but I have hurt girls intentionally kissing their boyfriends at my locker and not caring who saw. Knowing that some girl believes that he is being faithful to them and hearing him call me beautiful, sexy, and all that he wants in that moment. It has been extremely hard to say no sometimes. But I knew that it would mean nothing and as Cisneros said I'm too much of a romantic to believe that I can give my body to someone and it won't mean anything but a piece of ass to him. I don't know if I'll ever get married it does seem as if you can not trust men, boys, whatever you want to call them. I've hoped that maybe the older they get the more mature they will be and they will stop playing these games that tear my heart out of me everytime but none of the "boys" neither older or the same age as myself have proven this theory yet. I'm tired of giving my heart out I'm tired of opening up and having all of the love that I could give and have all of the passion and warmth that I have inside of me thrown back in my face. What is wrong with me? I don't see anything in particular. They just don't realize how much I could give them. I don't want anything back just his honest and true love his heart his mind his soul all I want is all of him. I want everything and I don't think it's too much to ask for. When I am in love I am willing to give everything that I have my soul my mind my body anything that he wants he could have and they have yet to realize this. What do I have to do? I'm tired and I'm not going to look anymore and I'm not taking anymore offers I don't care how nice how fine how caring and sincere he may seem unless by some drastic wave of luck he can persuade me that he is true I don't want him.
January 18, 2002
I'll never marry. Not any man. I've known men too intimately. I've witnesed their infidelities, and I've helped them to it. Unzipped and Unhooked and agreed to clandestine maneuvers. I've been accomplice, commited premeditated crimes. I'm guilty of having caused deliberate pain to other women. I'm vindictive and cruel, and I'm capable of anything.
I admit, there was a time when all I wanted was to belong to a man. To wear that gold band on my left hand and be worn on his arm like an expensive jewel brilliant in the light of day. Not the sneaking around I did in different bars that all looked the same, red carpets with a black grillwork design, flocked wallpaper, wooden wagon-wheel light fixtures with hurricane lampshades a sick amber color like the drinking glasses you get for free at gas stations.
Dark bars, dark restaurants then. And if not my apartment, with toothbrush firmly planted in the toothbrush holder like a flag on the North Pole. The bed so big because he never stayed the whole night. Of course not.
Borrowed. That's how I've had my men. Just the cream skimmed off the top. Just the sweetest part of the fruit, without the bitter skin that daily living with a spouse can rend. They've come to me when they wanted the sweet meat then.
So, no. I've never married and never will. Not because I couldn't, but because I'm too romantic for marriage. Marriage has failed me, you could say. Not a man exists who hasn't disappointed me, whom I could trust to love the way I've loved. It's because I believe too much in marriage that I don't. Better to not marry than live a lie."
-from "Never Marry A Mexican" by Sandra Cisneros
It's really a wonderful short story it'll keep your attention the entire time. It's full of sex, love, deciet and all of those things that are for some reason interesting to read about. I've never been in the exact positions that she has mainly because I'm a virgin but I have hurt girls intentionally kissing their boyfriends at my locker and not caring who saw. Knowing that some girl believes that he is being faithful to them and hearing him call me beautiful, sexy, and all that he wants in that moment. It has been extremely hard to say no sometimes. But I knew that it would mean nothing and as Cisneros said I'm too much of a romantic to believe that I can give my body to someone and it won't mean anything but a piece of ass to him. I don't know if I'll ever get married it does seem as if you can not trust men, boys, whatever you want to call them. I've hoped that maybe the older they get the more mature they will be and they will stop playing these games that tear my heart out of me everytime but none of the "boys" neither older or the same age as myself have proven this theory yet. I'm tired of giving my heart out I'm tired of opening up and having all of the love that I could give and have all of the passion and warmth that I have inside of me thrown back in my face. What is wrong with me? I don't see anything in particular. They just don't realize how much I could give them. I don't want anything back just his honest and true love his heart his mind his soul all I want is all of him. I want everything and I don't think it's too much to ask for. When I am in love I am willing to give everything that I have my soul my mind my body anything that he wants he could have and they have yet to realize this. What do I have to do? I'm tired and I'm not going to look anymore and I'm not taking anymore offers I don't care how nice how fine how caring and sincere he may seem unless by some drastic wave of luck he can persuade me that he is true I don't want him.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Oh... To Be A Black Girl!!!
I found this video about a year ago. I don't understand a word the chick is saying. I think I found the video with the translation one time, but I can't seem to locate it at the moment. You'll get the point quickly though. She's basically saying that she wants to be with this dude and they can keep it a secret, etc., etc., etc. It just made me laugh though. We all know in this country to be anything but white means you're going to have to struggle. That struggle has definitely gotten better with time, but it's still there. I just find it funny that everyone wants to have the ghetto booty, ample lips, and dance and sing like the latest up-and-coming (and most of the time black) r&b or pop artist that are out today. When if you would have gone back probably not even as far as twenty years ago NO ONE was trying to copy what we were putting out there.
Anyways, enjoy, and laugh as hard as I did, while you nod your head to the beat...
I threw in an extra one as well...
Anyways, enjoy, and laugh as hard as I did, while you nod your head to the beat...
I threw in an extra one as well...
Love... As Told By The Stars
I'm one of those people who will usually look at my horoscope. If it's good then I'm all for it. If it's bad I'm like well that shit's fake anyway! LOL! I decided to do what they call an Astro-Match. I just thought it would be funny to put in my sign with the sign of people from my past and see what it says. Maybe it will shed some light into why I've had a rediculously disappointing personal life...
Well for your general information I'm a Virgo so lets see what horoscope.com has to say about Virgos:
(August 23-September 22)
Symbol: The Virgin Ruling Planet: Mercury
Element: Earth Cross/Quality: Mutable
Group: Intellectual House Ruled: Sixth
Polarity: Negative Opposite Sign: Pisces
Favorable Colors: Navy & Neutrals
Lucky Gem: Peridot
Key Body Part: Nervous System
Chinese Horoscopes Counterpart: the Rooster
Basic Profile:
Analytical, rational, fair, methodical, talented, planner, hardworking, discriminating, tasteful, motivated, reserved, intelligent, creative, orderly, structured, but can be critical, rigid, sarcastic, snobbish, narrow-minded,
Famous Virgos:
Stephen King, H G Wells, Leonard Bernstein, Michael Jackson, Sophia Loren, D. H. Lawrence, Queen Elizabeth, Sean Connery, Ingrid Bergman, Oliver Stone, Dorothy Parker, Bruno Bettleheim, Geraldine Ferraro, Julio Iglesias, Marcia Clark
Well a lot of that stuff is true but I'm definitely not narrow-minded, snobbish, or rigid. At least not to my knowledge.
Ok well in the past I have dated, messed with, been with, etc., etc., with a scorpio, a cancer, a leo, a gemini, and a couple of libras and a couple taurus's (I must really like those two). So here's the breakdown according to horoscope.com
Virgo & Libra
Wizard Says:
Libra sees the big picture, but tends to forget the important details. Virgo is good at filling in the missing pieces. Together, there are lots of things to talk about, and plenty of activity.
Work:
Libra can be very patient with co-workers and this will be a useful when working with the Virgo who is striving for perfection. Virgo is always fully committed to the task in hand and Librans will be impressed with this dedication and single minded focus, while Virgo will admire Libra’s negotiating skills.
Friendship:
Although Libra and Virgo can respect each other from a reasonable distance at work they are unlikely to ever form a close friendship. Libra finds Virgo far too narrow in their range of interests and Virgo is likely to see Libra as lacking in direction and perhaps a little vain.
Love:
Romance can easily spring up between Virgo and Libra. Libra are renowned for their attention to their appearance and Virgo loves any evidence of careful attention to detail. However, once the relationship gets beyond the getting to know you phase it will require a huge amount of compromise, perhaps too much, for this relationship to succeed.
Virgo & Taurus
Wizard Says:
At times you may be unbearably frustrated by your partner's stubbornness. On the other hand, you appreciate each other's practicality, and there is a definite physical attraction as well.
Work:
Taurus and Virgo make an excellent work partnership, especially if they are working at the same level in an organisation. Taurus appreciates Virgo’s love of perfection and order. Similarly, Virgo is very impressed with Taurus’ ability to take a problem and turn it into a series of practical steps.
Friendship:
If Taurus and Virgo make friends it is likely to be a relationship that will last through thick and thin. Very often both Taurus and Virgo can feel a little marginalized as neither sign is especially outgoing. They understand what makes the other tick and offer wonderful emotional support.
Love:
Although Taurus and Virgo make wonderful friendships with each other there may be something lacking when it comes to the next level in a relationship. Like most people both Taurus and Virgo are exited by their opposites. Taurus is rather too sensual for Virgo’s liking while in a romantic relationship Taurus may find that Virgo is too emotionally reserved.
Virgo & Scorpio
Wizard Says:
You're both inclined to indulge your own mood swings. Don't expect any intuitive understanding here. If you care about the relationship, you'll need to talk things through.
Work:
This almost an ideal working relationship as both Virgo and Scorpio are capable of devoting themselves with absolute commitment to the task in hand. A Scorpio boss will be able to rely on Virgo while a Virgo manager will instantly recognise Scorpio’s ability to follow a project to completion. However, there can be tensions when it comes to setting priorities in relation to a project.
Friendship:
Scorpio and Virgo can become firm friends although it tends to take quite a while for them to achieve a position of mutual trust. Scorpio’s intuitive nature means that they are acutely aware of Virgo’s ability to be critical. At the same time Virgo can see in Scorpio a capacity to hold a grudge secretly for some time. These insights mean that any relationship will take time to develop fully.
Love:
A romantic relationship between Virgo and Scorpio is quite unusual. They have a mutual respect and for that matter a certain amount of mutual suspicion. What tends not to be present between Virgo and Scorpio is any kind of physical attraction. Scorpio finds Virgo too cold to be romantically appealing and Virgo sees Scorpio as too emotionally controlling to provoke their romantic interest.
Virgo & Leo
Wizard Says:
You may be tempted to just relax and let Leo's powerful personality take over the relationship. Don't! You'll both be happier when there's an equal amount of give and take.
Work:
This relationship is not an easy one to manage for either sign. Virgo is a perfectionist who hates to be dominated, while Leo finds it difficult to listen to differing points of view and has a reputation for being impatient. This relationship can work if Leo and Virgo can give each the space to concentrate on their own area of expertise.
Friendship:
Leo loves nothing more than to be at the centre of attention in a busy social setting, while Virgo is happiest when engaged in quiet conversation with a few close and trusted friends. These two signs are unlikely ever to be firm friends even though they could both learn a lot from each other.
Love:
Surprisingly, this is a relationship that can work extremely well. While Leo will appreciate Virgo’s ability to create the perfect domestic environment, Virgo is quietly impressed with Leo’s social confidence that introduces the shy Virgo to a new circle of friends. This relationship will continue to confuse those around this couple, but is likely to last for life!
Virgo & Gemini
Wizard Says:
Both of you can be judgmental at times. As long as you judge the world and not each other, you'll get along perfectly.
Work:
Virgo will be very happy to let Gemini be the dominant figure in any working relationship and that will work just fine for Gemini. Gemini’s ideas can be carefully checked and implemented by Virgo. However, if Virgo is the manager there may be something of a power struggle.
Friendship:
In general terms Gemini and Virgo are not compatible. Gemini tires of Virgo’s need for order and love of common sense approaches to the world. At the same time Virgo dislikes the superficiality of Gemini and their love of gossip. This friendship is unlikely to run smoothly for any length of time.
Love:
Emotionally, Virgo can offer a great deal of support to Gemini who finds it difficult to recognize and discuss any weaknesses. However, Virgo will be increasingly resentful of Gemini’s unwillingness to return that consideration. Gemini’s good humour may soften things, but this is a tricky relationship nonetheless.
Virgo & Cancer
Wizard Says:
You may feel that you're giving too much. Or are you trying to control too much? Sharing your worries with each other helps you overcome them.
Work:
As co-workers Cancer and Virgo can work extremely well together. However, they will both benefit from the presence of a manager with plenty of Fire energy to ensure that deadlines are met. Neither sign would make a good manager of the other as both need strong leadership.
Friendship:
This is an ideal pairing for a friendship. Both Cancer and Virgo yearn for emotional support and a sense of understanding. Each sign is able to provide the other with the sounding board that they need in order to feel the confidence to go forward in their lives to achieve their goals.
Love:
While this is not a relationship that will burn with a passionate flame it may well be a long term relationship that gives both Cancer and Virgo what they really need in a romance – security and contentment. Virgo may become frustrated by Cancer’s need for reassurance while Cancer will tire of Virgo’s potential to be emotionally demanding. However, there is enough mutual understanding to make this work.
Interesting! Maybe I should stop neglecting the winter months when I'm thinking of perspective dating options. lol. Now that I've been looking at this I've only ever been out with guys born April - October. I never realized that before. I wonder what it is about those guys that attracts me to them. Something to ponder!
Well for your general information I'm a Virgo so lets see what horoscope.com has to say about Virgos:
(August 23-September 22)
Symbol: The Virgin Ruling Planet: Mercury
Element: Earth Cross/Quality: Mutable
Group: Intellectual House Ruled: Sixth
Polarity: Negative Opposite Sign: Pisces
Favorable Colors: Navy & Neutrals
Lucky Gem: Peridot
Key Body Part: Nervous System
Chinese Horoscopes Counterpart: the Rooster
Basic Profile:
Analytical, rational, fair, methodical, talented, planner, hardworking, discriminating, tasteful, motivated, reserved, intelligent, creative, orderly, structured, but can be critical, rigid, sarcastic, snobbish, narrow-minded,
Famous Virgos:
Stephen King, H G Wells, Leonard Bernstein, Michael Jackson, Sophia Loren, D. H. Lawrence, Queen Elizabeth, Sean Connery, Ingrid Bergman, Oliver Stone, Dorothy Parker, Bruno Bettleheim, Geraldine Ferraro, Julio Iglesias, Marcia Clark
Well a lot of that stuff is true but I'm definitely not narrow-minded, snobbish, or rigid. At least not to my knowledge.
Ok well in the past I have dated, messed with, been with, etc., etc., with a scorpio, a cancer, a leo, a gemini, and a couple of libras and a couple taurus's (I must really like those two). So here's the breakdown according to horoscope.com
Virgo & Libra
Wizard Says:
Libra sees the big picture, but tends to forget the important details. Virgo is good at filling in the missing pieces. Together, there are lots of things to talk about, and plenty of activity.
Work:
Libra can be very patient with co-workers and this will be a useful when working with the Virgo who is striving for perfection. Virgo is always fully committed to the task in hand and Librans will be impressed with this dedication and single minded focus, while Virgo will admire Libra’s negotiating skills.
Friendship:
Although Libra and Virgo can respect each other from a reasonable distance at work they are unlikely to ever form a close friendship. Libra finds Virgo far too narrow in their range of interests and Virgo is likely to see Libra as lacking in direction and perhaps a little vain.
Love:
Romance can easily spring up between Virgo and Libra. Libra are renowned for their attention to their appearance and Virgo loves any evidence of careful attention to detail. However, once the relationship gets beyond the getting to know you phase it will require a huge amount of compromise, perhaps too much, for this relationship to succeed.
Virgo & Taurus
Wizard Says:
At times you may be unbearably frustrated by your partner's stubbornness. On the other hand, you appreciate each other's practicality, and there is a definite physical attraction as well.
Work:
Taurus and Virgo make an excellent work partnership, especially if they are working at the same level in an organisation. Taurus appreciates Virgo’s love of perfection and order. Similarly, Virgo is very impressed with Taurus’ ability to take a problem and turn it into a series of practical steps.
Friendship:
If Taurus and Virgo make friends it is likely to be a relationship that will last through thick and thin. Very often both Taurus and Virgo can feel a little marginalized as neither sign is especially outgoing. They understand what makes the other tick and offer wonderful emotional support.
Love:
Although Taurus and Virgo make wonderful friendships with each other there may be something lacking when it comes to the next level in a relationship. Like most people both Taurus and Virgo are exited by their opposites. Taurus is rather too sensual for Virgo’s liking while in a romantic relationship Taurus may find that Virgo is too emotionally reserved.
Virgo & Scorpio
Wizard Says:
You're both inclined to indulge your own mood swings. Don't expect any intuitive understanding here. If you care about the relationship, you'll need to talk things through.
Work:
This almost an ideal working relationship as both Virgo and Scorpio are capable of devoting themselves with absolute commitment to the task in hand. A Scorpio boss will be able to rely on Virgo while a Virgo manager will instantly recognise Scorpio’s ability to follow a project to completion. However, there can be tensions when it comes to setting priorities in relation to a project.
Friendship:
Scorpio and Virgo can become firm friends although it tends to take quite a while for them to achieve a position of mutual trust. Scorpio’s intuitive nature means that they are acutely aware of Virgo’s ability to be critical. At the same time Virgo can see in Scorpio a capacity to hold a grudge secretly for some time. These insights mean that any relationship will take time to develop fully.
Love:
A romantic relationship between Virgo and Scorpio is quite unusual. They have a mutual respect and for that matter a certain amount of mutual suspicion. What tends not to be present between Virgo and Scorpio is any kind of physical attraction. Scorpio finds Virgo too cold to be romantically appealing and Virgo sees Scorpio as too emotionally controlling to provoke their romantic interest.
Virgo & Leo
Wizard Says:
You may be tempted to just relax and let Leo's powerful personality take over the relationship. Don't! You'll both be happier when there's an equal amount of give and take.
Work:
This relationship is not an easy one to manage for either sign. Virgo is a perfectionist who hates to be dominated, while Leo finds it difficult to listen to differing points of view and has a reputation for being impatient. This relationship can work if Leo and Virgo can give each the space to concentrate on their own area of expertise.
Friendship:
Leo loves nothing more than to be at the centre of attention in a busy social setting, while Virgo is happiest when engaged in quiet conversation with a few close and trusted friends. These two signs are unlikely ever to be firm friends even though they could both learn a lot from each other.
Love:
Surprisingly, this is a relationship that can work extremely well. While Leo will appreciate Virgo’s ability to create the perfect domestic environment, Virgo is quietly impressed with Leo’s social confidence that introduces the shy Virgo to a new circle of friends. This relationship will continue to confuse those around this couple, but is likely to last for life!
Virgo & Gemini
Wizard Says:
Both of you can be judgmental at times. As long as you judge the world and not each other, you'll get along perfectly.
Work:
Virgo will be very happy to let Gemini be the dominant figure in any working relationship and that will work just fine for Gemini. Gemini’s ideas can be carefully checked and implemented by Virgo. However, if Virgo is the manager there may be something of a power struggle.
Friendship:
In general terms Gemini and Virgo are not compatible. Gemini tires of Virgo’s need for order and love of common sense approaches to the world. At the same time Virgo dislikes the superficiality of Gemini and their love of gossip. This friendship is unlikely to run smoothly for any length of time.
Love:
Emotionally, Virgo can offer a great deal of support to Gemini who finds it difficult to recognize and discuss any weaknesses. However, Virgo will be increasingly resentful of Gemini’s unwillingness to return that consideration. Gemini’s good humour may soften things, but this is a tricky relationship nonetheless.
Virgo & Cancer
Wizard Says:
You may feel that you're giving too much. Or are you trying to control too much? Sharing your worries with each other helps you overcome them.
Work:
As co-workers Cancer and Virgo can work extremely well together. However, they will both benefit from the presence of a manager with plenty of Fire energy to ensure that deadlines are met. Neither sign would make a good manager of the other as both need strong leadership.
Friendship:
This is an ideal pairing for a friendship. Both Cancer and Virgo yearn for emotional support and a sense of understanding. Each sign is able to provide the other with the sounding board that they need in order to feel the confidence to go forward in their lives to achieve their goals.
Love:
While this is not a relationship that will burn with a passionate flame it may well be a long term relationship that gives both Cancer and Virgo what they really need in a romance – security and contentment. Virgo may become frustrated by Cancer’s need for reassurance while Cancer will tire of Virgo’s potential to be emotionally demanding. However, there is enough mutual understanding to make this work.
Interesting! Maybe I should stop neglecting the winter months when I'm thinking of perspective dating options. lol. Now that I've been looking at this I've only ever been out with guys born April - October. I never realized that before. I wonder what it is about those guys that attracts me to them. Something to ponder!
Lauryn Hill - Final Hour
I was listening to Lauryn Hill earlier on my myspace: DaSilvaDolla
I was listening to her song Final Hour she has this verse where she talks about Psalm 73. So I looked it up and this is what it says:
1 A psalm of Asaph.
Surely God is good to Israel,
to those who are pure in heart.
Powerful stuff if you ask me.
I was listening to her song Final Hour she has this verse where she talks about Psalm 73. So I looked it up and this is what it says:
1 A psalm of Asaph.
Surely God is good to Israel,
to those who are pure in heart.
2 But as for me, my feet had almost slipped;
I had nearly lost my foothold.
3 For I envied the arrogant
when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.
4 They have no struggles;
their bodies are healthy and strong. [a]
5 They are free from the burdens common to man;
they are not plagued by human ills.
6 Therefore pride is their necklace;
they clothe themselves with violence.
7 From their callous hearts comes iniquity [b] ;
the evil conceits of their minds know no limits.
8 They scoff, and speak with malice;
in their arrogance they threaten oppression.
9 Their mouths lay claim to heaven,
and their tongues take possession of the earth.
10 Therefore their people turn to them
and drink up waters in abundance. [c]
11 They say, "How can God know?
Does the Most High have knowledge?"
12 This is what the wicked are like—
always carefree, they increase in wealth.
13 Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure;
in vain have I washed my hands in innocence.
14 All day long I have been plagued;
I have been punished every morning.
15 If I had said, "I will speak thus,"
I would have betrayed your children.
16 When I tried to understand all this,
it was oppressive to me
17 till I entered the sanctuary of God;
then I understood their final destiny.
18 Surely you place them on slippery ground;
you cast them down to ruin.
19 How suddenly are they destroyed,
completely swept away by terrors!
20 As a dream when one awakes,
so when you arise, O Lord,
you will despise them as fantasies.
21 When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,
22 I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.
23 Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
24 You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
27 Those who are far from you will perish;
you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.
28 But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds.
Powerful stuff if you ask me.
Text Messaging
Txt Mssg: I slept til 3:30..... your mother is having a mental crisis right now. im not in control of my emotions or anything else. im stressed & ready 2 bow out.
Received at 10:24pm in response to a text that I sent to my mother on a completely unrelated topic. WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT???? I seriously want someone to tell me. Since I was in middle school my mother has been dealing with mental illness. She was diagnosed as being Bi-Polar back then. Yes, I now work in the mental health industry but I swear even twelve to thirteen years later I still feel like that same kid. She's still my mother. I can't diagnose her, I can't treat her, I can't look at her struggles objectively. Whenever she says shit like that I just think about her laying in the bed, not going to work, and the results which were always that we ended up being homeless or evicted or both. I can't do it anymore. I've spent almost fifteen years of my life trying to be sympathetic and empathetic to my mothers mood swings, depression, anger, and violence. Life is not fair. I know this and I could have a much worse life. I've just come to the conclusion though that I can't control hers and I can't live hers for her. And no matter how well I do, no matter how focused I am, no matter how I try to show her that life is what you make of it. It doesn't matter because she is the same person and in my opinion a somewhat Borderline Personality. When you're dealing with people who are Borderline some things are so hard to change and at the age that my Mom is and with how long she has been going through the same bullshit just a different day it's STUPID of me to believe that she is going to stop playing the victim that she is going to stop blaming everyone else but herself for her problems, that she is going to stop being manipulative and making others feel guilty and shameful, that she is going to stop putting blame on others and making them feel bad for asking for common courtesy of her. It is unlikely, not intelligent, and counterproductive for me to believe that somehow I can fix this. I can't fix it. I love my mother I always will but I have to get away from her. I have to do that so that I can like my mother, so that I can let go of this animosity that is building up in me again. The same animosity that I got rid of years ago. I started with a clean slate with her because I chose to and through the grace of God he gave me the strength to let go of everything that happened when I was younger. He helped me to use the knowledge that I have accumulated over the last fifteen years and realize that during those hard times, that wasn't the mother that I know and love, that was the illness. I just have to get away from her so that I can get back to that place because I'm really not there right now. I'm in grad. school full time I'm working full time. I'm starting my life and if I want to stay the positive person that I have worked Soooooooooooooooooooooo hard to become and continue to grow and believe that I do have the potential to have a good life, then I can't stay here I have to move on or I'm only going to be moving backwards. I can't fix this, I have to let it go.
Received at 10:24pm in response to a text that I sent to my mother on a completely unrelated topic. WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT???? I seriously want someone to tell me. Since I was in middle school my mother has been dealing with mental illness. She was diagnosed as being Bi-Polar back then. Yes, I now work in the mental health industry but I swear even twelve to thirteen years later I still feel like that same kid. She's still my mother. I can't diagnose her, I can't treat her, I can't look at her struggles objectively. Whenever she says shit like that I just think about her laying in the bed, not going to work, and the results which were always that we ended up being homeless or evicted or both. I can't do it anymore. I've spent almost fifteen years of my life trying to be sympathetic and empathetic to my mothers mood swings, depression, anger, and violence. Life is not fair. I know this and I could have a much worse life. I've just come to the conclusion though that I can't control hers and I can't live hers for her. And no matter how well I do, no matter how focused I am, no matter how I try to show her that life is what you make of it. It doesn't matter because she is the same person and in my opinion a somewhat Borderline Personality. When you're dealing with people who are Borderline some things are so hard to change and at the age that my Mom is and with how long she has been going through the same bullshit just a different day it's STUPID of me to believe that she is going to stop playing the victim that she is going to stop blaming everyone else but herself for her problems, that she is going to stop being manipulative and making others feel guilty and shameful, that she is going to stop putting blame on others and making them feel bad for asking for common courtesy of her. It is unlikely, not intelligent, and counterproductive for me to believe that somehow I can fix this. I can't fix it. I love my mother I always will but I have to get away from her. I have to do that so that I can like my mother, so that I can let go of this animosity that is building up in me again. The same animosity that I got rid of years ago. I started with a clean slate with her because I chose to and through the grace of God he gave me the strength to let go of everything that happened when I was younger. He helped me to use the knowledge that I have accumulated over the last fifteen years and realize that during those hard times, that wasn't the mother that I know and love, that was the illness. I just have to get away from her so that I can get back to that place because I'm really not there right now. I'm in grad. school full time I'm working full time. I'm starting my life and if I want to stay the positive person that I have worked Soooooooooooooooooooooo hard to become and continue to grow and believe that I do have the potential to have a good life, then I can't stay here I have to move on or I'm only going to be moving backwards. I can't fix this, I have to let it go.
The Smooth Intro...
Why am I here? Cause Josie asked me to be an author on his blog, and I was like hmm why don't I just make my own. I regard myself as somewhat of an interesting person though, so I'm sure I'll have plenty to say. I don't think I'll be as strict as he is and only keep it to entertainment news or current events. Don't get me wrong if I find it to be interesting or it makes me laugh I'll share it, but you can also take this opportunity to get to know me a little better...