If I didn't know it before, and I did, people are selfish...
The last several months I have had some clear and present examples of how people will continue to take from you until you can give no more. How people can be so concerned about their experience that they really never even considered how you may feel about something. It's the strangest thing to me. I'm just not built that way. I'm a very giving person and I genuinely care about how those that I care about feel around me and about me. I am also a very curious person by nature. Sometimes I will just continue to offer to help or do and just see if someone will continue to leech. It's amazing how many people will.
I have also learned that while everyone knows that misery loves company... it is also true that some people will never be able to be happy for you in anything that you do. Why is that? Well it's for varied reasons but it comes down to selfishness: Well if she doesn't do this particular task anymore that means I would have to do it or If she moves on to something better then who will be here for me. Also comes down to insecurities and sometimes just plain old lack of insight. For some whether you are the type of person who wants attention or the occasional ray of light shining on you they just don't know how to let someone else shine.
Finding these qualities in people I interact with on a regular basis is no surprise really. I will admit though that it does come as a surprise to me when I run into it in the counseling field... I have definitely learned, however, that most people don't do what I do for the same reasons I do. I have also learned that at 29 the same is true as it was when I was 23. The older some people get the less ambitious and positive they are. Seeing someone my age be where I am, having accomplished what I have, despite my circumstances, and the realization of how much life (God willing) I have in front of me - just does not sit well with everyone.
All I can do is thank God everyday for those people who do support me, who want me to succeed no matter what they have or haven't accomplished. I especially thank him for my biggest and most consistent supporter... myself! I am thankful that he gave me enough courage and hope to continue to drive forward in my pursuit to do better and be a better person but also enough confidence that I don't have to dull someone else's shine, or steal their light, or not be happy for them because of my baggage!
