Moment of Clarity...

Sometimes I have these moments of clarity, it usually occurs when I actually use the counseling skills that I'm paying so much for, to evaluate and analyze the human condition, and I realize some important things. Usually I'm talking to someone else about an issue so I'm thinking I should start documenting these moments so that when I get into my funks or get down on issues that I have discussed with my friends I can see what my unclouded by emotions thought process would be if the tables were turned.

So this sessions moment of clarity is related to a conversation I was having with a friend about the frustrations of dating and about blame and self doubt and self worth and etc., etc., etc.

Basically I was taking the position that once you get to a certain point you do get frustrated with the entire process and you do begin to think that there must obviously be something wrong with you if you can't seem to get it right and so this is what I surmised:

"I can definitely understand starting to feel like it's you that is the problem but I don't think that it is always that black and white. I think the more people you date the more reasons you are going to come across that would keep it from working out whether it be issues with timing, personality differences, one or both people not knowing what they want or not being able to provide to the other person what they need or want, also people thinking they know what they want and when they get it coming to the realization that it isn't, then there is always the standard people trying to move on when they aren't ready to or aren't over the last person, and several other non-fault reasons along with all the other reasons that are based on fault. When we consider all of these things, I think it is easier to really see the difficulties that any single person out there may come up against and sometimes we will be the problem but not always and it won't always be as concrete as it being us or them, but the experience provides us with the opportunity to test our self esteem and idea of self worth and our patience. I think more often than not hind site is 20-20 and when we look back on past relationships (in whatever capacity it was in) we can see that our expectations of a particular relationship weren't in line with the reality of who we really are or more importantly it may not have been in line with reality as to who that person really was."

Yeah, I said that. I know shocking! Well at least it's documented here so that hopefully I can keep this in mind if I ever start to doubt myself again.